A married couple of ten years decided to take a break and briefly see other people. Every marriage is complicated and after having been together for fourteen years in total, the couple felt it was the logical next step. However, the novel coronavirus outbreak and an unexpected pregnancy have complicated the situation.
The husband posted to Reddit’s relationship advice forum to try and get some guidance on how to handle the situation he’s now facing. He shared, “I don’t want to raise another man’s kid!”
The married couple decided it was time to take a break in early January.
The couple decided to take some time apart and see other people. They did not set any rules for each other and instead used the time as a sort of “experiment.”
After a couple of months of the break, the coronavirus pandemic began to reak havoc and stay at home orders were put in place. The couple decided to come back together and weather the outbreak together.
As soon as the decision was made, both decided to lay out what they’d been up to.
“Now as soon as we move back in together we talked about our experience with other people,” the husband explained.
He admitted to having safe sex with another person. She had a different experience. She had gotten intoxicated during a one-night stand and hadn’t used protection. To make matters worse, her birth control failed her and she ended up pregnant.
Long before their break, the couple had decided against having kids.
Before taking a break, the couple had discussed children and both agreed that they had no desire to become parents. They planned on terminating any potential pregnancies because they felt it was the right choice for their family.
After the couple found out about the pregnancy, the husband scheduled an appointment to have the pregnancy terminated. That had been the plan all along.
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On the day of the appointment, she changed her mind and couldn’t go through with it.
“She’s apologized to me for being so stupid but is saying she is 100% sure,” the husband wrote. “I’ve been trying so hard to convince her she shouldn’t keep it but she’s just not having it. She’s said we can raise the kid as our own. I’m not having it. It would be had enough if she had a kid of mine but at least I could accept that it’d be my kid if that happened. This kid will be another man’s! Nothing to do with me.”
The man writes repeatedly that he wants nothing to do with “another man’s” kid. He doesn’t want a divorce and never wanted kids to begin with. He is torn over his options in these times and doesn’t want to throw her out, “I’d feel horrible kicking a pregnant woman out to fend for herself at a time like this!?”
Redditors reached a consensus that the married man should leave his wife.
“You need to leave,” one person wrote. “If you’re this [adamant] about not wanting a child especially another man’s child then you need to leave so that kid has a chance at a good life. He/she won’t get that growing up feeling the resentment from you. Stop trying to get her to have an abortion that she clearly doesn’t want. You can’t wish this baby away and you can’t pretend everything is okay just because you love her and not the baby.”
“The sensible answer is the only right one,” another wrote flat-out. “I understand the urge but you should not be trying to ‘convince’ her to abort a baby she wants. If she does that, she’ll hate you forever, and your relationship will end anyway… the truth of the matter is that you have zero desire to be a parent, and it would destroy your life. If you had fathered this child then you’d have some responsibility regardless of how you felt, but you aren’t this child’s father.”
If you agree to something with your partner, you have to follow that agreement. Many people saw this as black and white. We know that every woman handles a pregnancy in her own way. We’re not blaming the woman, but there’s no other logical move.
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