One father is asking Reddit if he is the a****** for not allowing his parents into his son’s life after they secretly tested his DNA.
“I met my wife Sonya at a restaurant where she worked as a waitress,” the OP (Original Poster) began. It took me a while to finally be her boyfriend. I introduced her to my parents and they voiced out their disapproval after meeting her. My parents think that Sonya is only using me to achieve her American dream. I told them that is racist and I am very offended by their assumption.”
“After my wife accepted my marriage proposal, we asked for both our family’s blessing. Her parents were happy for us but my parents were gutted and refused to give their blessing. Because of this, we decided to elope and only invited my brother and Sonya’s best friends to be our witnesses.”
“Long story short, now that we’re 2 years married and after we welcomed our first child, my parents started to reach out to us. My kindhearted wife didn’t think twice to welcome my parents into our lives. She let them meet our baby 2 days after being discharged from the hospital.”
“My parents visit us regularly and one day while dad and mom are playing with Garreth [and] mom said something along the lines of ‘aren’t you the cutest baby ever? I am so glad to confirm you are indeed my grandson.’ She didn’t know I was around because she looked startled when I said ‘what does that supposed to mean?’ Mom tried to change the subject but I insisted she tell me what she’s talking about.”
“Mom sat me down and apologized first before telling me that they had Garreth’s DNA tested to make sure that he’s mine. I was speechless for a moment and before I blew up from anger I told dad to give me my son and they better leave before I lose whatever respect I had left for them.”
“My mom was very apologetic and said it’s because they don’t trust my wife and that our son looks nothing like me. I didn’t argue anymore and told them to get out of my house. My wife was in the kitchen preparing for lunch and told her my parents had an emergency that’s why they left without saying a word. I didn’t tell my wife about the whole DNA test thing until after two weeks when she asked why mom and dad didn’t visit anymore. I told her everything as I know I cannot keep a secret from her. She started crying and it broke my heart. I know how much she tried to win my parents’ approval and what I told her was like a slap across her face.”
“That night she told me that she can no longer let my parents into our child’s life and I agreed with her. When mom called to ask when they can visit again, I told them they are no longer welcome in our son’s life. Mom called my dad and I told him the same thing. He was livid, he called me ungrateful and cruel. He also said a few choice words about my wife which angered me more. I didn’t even hear the rest because I just hung up. Did I overreact? AITA?”
One user commented: “NTA and to all of you saying that you should not deprive your child of a relationship with his grandparents: They are openly racist towards his wife/ the mother of this child. They will make remarks about that, they will make him feel bad about his heritage and will talk badly about his mother even when he is there. Don’t let them into your life, stay your ground.”
While another said: “My dad is estranged from his mom, but let her back into his life so that we could have a relationship with our grandma. She was still a toxic person and all four of us gradually cut off contact with her on our own. Dad was definitely well-intended with letting her into our lives, but I’m more scarred from having a toxic grandparent than I would have been from being ‘deprived’ of that relationship. Loving grandparents seem great, but this baby already has 2 loving parents so I’m sure he’ll be fine.”
What do YOU think?
With a background in the creative and educational fields, Amelia Finefrock is freelance writer, singer-songwriter and nanny based in Chicago.
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