One user is asking Reddit if they are in the wrong for not including his brother’s wife into their tight friend group.
“To cut a long story short: My brother married a woman I knew from school. She was known as the mean girl, treated everyone like that.” The OP (original poster) begins. “Her mom had the same reputation and everyone said it was learned behavior, that started because their family was wealthy.”
“She made junior and senior year of high school a nightmare for me and most of my friends with her attitude (not helped by teachers letting her away with it). I didn’t see her for years and my brother met her in a coffee shop, they hit it off and it was a surprise when she turned out to be his girlfriend. It was also awkward. I don’t like her.”
And despite her getting a little better of the years, not too much had changed.
“She’s changed some but she still has a streak of it in her. Better than she was. They got married last year and it hit my brother that she has no friends of her own. She had her family there (her mom is still the biggest a****** ever) but no friends. And so he asked me if I would include her with my friends”
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“He knows I have a solid group of friends and was hoping they would be her friends too. But none of my friends are on board and honestly, neither am I. So I told him no. There was fallout from this. My brother is p***** and we haven’t had a great relationship in months.”
The OP’s brother claimed it was cruel of him to not even take his proposition into consideration.
“He thinks it’s cruel to not try when I know she has no friends, that it’s childish to dislike her over the past and that my friends are a group of a******* for not being willing to try. I told him not everyone wants to be friends with the mean girl who made life hell at any point in their life. That sometimes civil is the best you can muster and that I have always been that.”
“It’s breaking our parent’s hearts because he’s insisting we can’t be close again unless I make more of an effort,” the OP concluded.
One user said: “NTA. OP, tell your brother that if he cares about it so much, he should buy his wife some therapy sessions so she can learn how to go out and make some friends.”
While another commented:
“Yah wtf is this? I moved at an unfortunate time for teens and never did find my people. In college, I had a close group that imploded after I dumped their mutual friend. So I came to my marriage with no friends. Husband introduced me to his people, and we get on great, like siblings. But I’m not always invited because they are his friends first and he needs that time away. And in the early years, I was really lonely. But I understood. It was kind to be included, but not his job to find me, friends. I did that on my own and am quite social and happy now. She’s still a mean girl if she is totally fine shoving her way in with people she knows she hurt, just to make herself happy. Effort goes both ways and they should be civil at family events, but this is intrusive and creepy. NTA btw.”
With a background in the creative and educational fields, Amelia Finefrock is freelance writer, singer-songwriter and nanny based in Chicago.
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