my baby has never slept through the night and i feel ready to die of exhaustion: advice?

My Baby Has Never Slept Through the Night and I Feel Ready to Die of Exhaustion: Advice?

A mom writes in asking for advice about her baby’s sleep. She says her baby, who is almost 10-months-old, has never slept through the night. She says he wakes up “four-plus times a night” and recently has stopped napping as well. This mom has tried everything she can think, but the problem only seems to be getting worse, and both she and her baby are more tired from lack of sleep than ever. Adding to her stress is that she just started a physically demanding job for which she needs rest.

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A member of the community asks:

“My baby has never slept through the night: Advice?

My nine- (almost 10-) month-old has never slept through the night. He would never breastfeed, so I exclusively pumped but dried up at five months and stopped. He still eats 16 oz a night of formula. He wakes four-plus times a night, and most recently, he won’t nap. Most nights he’s up till 1 am.

I’m absolutely exhausted to the point of tears. He’s always been a good baby, but now he’s always whiney cause he’s so tired. He won’t transition past soft baby food. He’s been on soy, and regular, and tried various formulas. We have added cereals to his night bottles. Absolutely nothing makes a difference. Please give advice. I just started a very psychically demanding job unloading semi-trailers, and I can’t live on no sleep anymore.”

– Mamas Uncut Community Member

Community Advice for This Mom Whose Baby Has Never Slept Through the Night

To see what advice the Mamas Uncut Facebook community has for this mom in need, read the comments of the post embedded below.

Fan QuestionMy baby has never slept through the night: Advice?My nine almost 10.month old has never slept through…

Posted by Mamas Uncut on Tuesday, August 11, 2020

Advice Summary

my baby has never slept through the night and i feel ready to die of exhaustion: advice?

The community offered this mom in need a lot of great advice. Read some of their responses below.

“It is possible to safely cosleep. Maybe your little guy needs some extra comfort in the night. Snuggle that baby. He’s only little once.”

“Don’t give him melatonin. I think that is VERY overused by parents! Try thickening his food with baby cereal and spoon-feeding. Putting cereal in the bottle makes the risk of SIDS go up.”

“My almost 3-year-old has never been a good sleeper. She just in the past few months started sleeping in her own bed. She had to sleep with us for anyone to get any sleep. Make sure he’s active during the day as much as possible and wake him up early. We let her sleep in too much and she gets thrown off at nap and night time. As far as feeding maybe try to give him a big supper or even a second supper before bed to keep him fuller longer.”

“Ask your doctor before giving a baby this young sleep aids PLEASE! Try a bowl of cereal with fruit NO bananas before bed. Also try lavender.”

“I read all of the other comments, so trying to offer a different perspective. You said he drinks 16 oz of formula at night. Is that what he drinks right before bed? If so, is he waking up because of/or with wet diapers often? Maybe start decreasing the amount of liquids right before bedtime…

… Also, I have twins and I started feeding them soft baby food very early on. Once it got to the point of feeding them regular foods I fed them the proper recommended amount of milk/formula but if they weren’t eating the regular food, I lived by the strategy “if they’re hungry they’ll eat” (safely of course, always made sure they were properly nourished). Maybe start cutting down on the formula (within a safe amount) and try feeding him off of your own plate (it’s usually more intriguing for kids that age to eat what you’re eating) and see what happens. I hope that helps.”

“Just a little word of advice for you as a mom, you can try every one of these methods and it may not work. It’s not your fault! My kids are 5 and 3 and still don’t sleep completely through the night. My 5-year-old never ever has, in fact she didn’t sleep more than 4 hours at a time until she was 4.5 and now we are getting around 6 hours before she is up and wanting to come to my bed. I’ve learned that as a mom you just gotta bend sometimes and adapt to them…

… I’ve tried every method, every trick, every word of advice, and nothing has ever worked. My husband doesn’t sleep a lot, and sleep is a personal and also a genetic thing, some people sleep more than others and that also pertains to kids. So even though I can sleep 12 hours and still be exhausted, my kids may only require 4 hours and be good to go. I can’t expect them to sleep more just because I want them to, unfortunately. Just know that even if you feel like you’re failing, you’re not! Step back, assess the situation, and do what is best for you AND baby.”

“Let him cry it out. When he wakes up let him cry for 5 mins at a time, go in check on him pat his back then walk out again. Let him cry 5 mins then go back in, pat or rub his back, then repeat. I never let my babies cry for longer than 20 mins of intervals of 5.”

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