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QUESTION: My Boyfriend Won’t Propose Until His Mom and I Get Along: Advice?
“My boyfriend’s mom and I do NOT get along. He’s supposedly going to propose after five years, and I’ve told him IDK why he hasn’t done it, and his response was, ‘I would like it if things were better between you and my mom.’
I’m so UGH about the situation now and I don’t even want him to propose. Like why is his mom still a priority?! Back story: She’s been tough the entire time we’ve been together. She’s angry that we even had a child, let alone want another, just so disrespectful so I’ve cut her off for almost a year and she doesn’t wanna talk because I won’t allow her to see our baby until we fix things.”
The following top answers have been selected by a moderator from hundreds of responses to the original question.
“Sounds like maybe you are a big part of the problem. Do you realize you wouldn’t even have your boyfriend if it wasn’t for his mama. And to punish your own child by keeping it from its grandparents is so childish on your part. Regardless of how you feel about his mom you should at the very least have respect for her and especially your child. I wouldn’t purpose to you either with that attitude.”
“You won’t let her see your child until you fix things and yet you cut her out for a year? It doesn’t sound like you have allowed any room to fix things.”
“First off STOP using your child as a pawn. It is not fair to them. Your GROWN UP problems are just that. Between the grown-ups. The child doesn’t have anything to do with that and they are the ones being PUNISHED for something that is not their fault. They have a right to know their family.”
“Hmmm you’ve cut her off and refuse your child his relationship with his grandmother and you really think she is the problem?”
“When you marry a man, you marry his family. Your boyfriend is seeing a future full of drama and obviously isn’t into that. You should try and fix things if you want to stay with him.”
“Why are you depriving your child of their grandparent? Find a middle ground and a way to be cordial for the sake of your child, if nothing else. She would also need to meet you halfway; start out by being the bigger person and provide the olive branch.”
“I would let her see her grandchild. You’re using your kid as a weapon. Be the bigger person. Tell her you want to get along and be in your child’s life. You are honestly just as much at fault in the situation. Take the first step.”
“Why is his mom still a priority????? Because she is his MOM!”
“Idk why he thought you were good enough to have multiple children with but not marry… his mom’s thoughts shouldn’t even matter, he’s a grown adult with his own family. I’d be curious to know if he helped grow y’all’s relationship or if he hindered it. If you don’t have a decent relationship with the parents don’t ever expect or demand a relationship with the child. Grandparents are NOT a requirement for children they are an added bonus when they are respectful good people. It’s amazing how many people think that relationship is required it’s not kids are fine. If his parents are so awesome why hasn’t he manned up and insisted on that relationship happening with the kids?”
“You can look at this 2 ways. You are a parent, how would you feel if your child picked someone over you and didn’t have a relationship with you. Maybe you should try to get along. OR… live with always being mad at the situation and always in a fight about it. Because it will not end. Unless something happens to her and it will be your fault that you kept him away from her. You don’t have to like her. Put a fake smile and deal. That’s what grown ups do. Good luck.”
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