A man writes in asking for his advice about his little sister. He says his sister is about to graduate from high school, and after, she plans to move out of state and in with her boyfriend, whom she has never actually met in person. This man wants to support his sister’s decision and doesn’t want to come across as too overprotective, but he wants to make sure she is making a smart, safe choice.
A member of the community asks:
“My little sister wants to move out of state with her boyfriend: Advice?
My little sister is about to graduate from high school, and she plans to move in with her out-of-state boyfriend who she has never met in person. Only phone calls and FaceTime. I don’t want to discourage her completely; I just need to give her some advice to make her think and make sure this is what she truly wants to do. I’m trying to be a supportive older brother, but I want to do it without sounding too overprotective. Please help me, mommas, you guys always give the best advice.”
Community Advice for This Man Who Wants to Help His Little Sister Make a Smart Decision About Moving in with a Boyfriend She Hasn’t Met in Person
To see what advice the Mamas Uncut Facebook community has for this man in need, read the comments of the post embedded below.
The community offered this man in need a lot of great advice. Read some of their responses below.
“Offer to take her on a visit there. Tell her you’ll support her always. But want to take her there to visit before she makes any big decisions to see if she likes it.”
“I would suggest they meet in person first! You can never trust people nowadays. She doesn’t want to end up in a bad situation. Explain to her the pros and cons of the situation. She will have no family etc there to help her if she needed it. What if he’s abusive, a murderer, etc? Maybe show her some stories where girls did what she did and it ended badly. This is scary all around.”
“I would tell her to have him come visit a few times so you guys at least know him. I would also explain to her worst-case scenarios that could happen. i.e. the dangers that come with that. And tell her to have a savings account he doesn’t know about so if things do go south she can afford to get back home.”
“Make a fun sibling trip to visit.”
“She has never met him in person? That’s scary, and I don’t blame you for being concerned! She thinks she knows him well enough to move in with him, so that is a problem. I would tell her the only way you will be supportive of her move is if he will come and meet you first…
… Offer to pay his way. If they refuse, then refuse to be supportive. Tell her every story you’ve ever heard of in which the guy turned out to be a murderer or sick individual. You cant physically keep her from going but try every means possible!!”
“Offer to take her or at least follow her. That way you get a chance to meet him and have a description and directions should you ever need them. I commend you on being a great big brother!”
“I think a fun/serious road trip is in order. Have a lot of fun but put a serious side on it. Meet the guy and stay for a few days if you feel the need. If the guy is sketchy you will get a vibe. Listen to your gut.”
“All good advice. But I’d suggest a safe word or phrase/ phrases. If she finds her calls and or all communications are staged or monitored she’ll be able to ask for help without alerting him. Also, I’d go so far as asking for a photo of his driver’s license and family info ie: mother’s info and place of work… All ways of tracking him if things go south.”
Do you have any advice for this mom? Leave a comment to help another mom out!
Over on the Mamas Uncut Facebook page, our robust community of moms is always having a conversation about topics that matter. We like to highlight those conversations from time to time. Important mom questions. Thoughtful mom answers.
Do you have a question you’d like answered? Submit it to the Mamas Uncut Facebook page, and we may feature it along with some of the best answers on this site! You can remain completely anonymous while still getting the information and support you need from other moms who know what it’s like.
Mamas Uncut is THE online place for moms. We cover the latest about motherhood, parenting, and entertainment as well – all with a mom-focused twist. So if you're looking for parenting advice from real parents, we have plenty of it, all for moms from moms, and also experts. Because, at the end of the day, our mission is focused solely on empowering moms and moms-to-be with the knowledge and answers they’re looking for in one safe space.