Chrissy Teigen, who lost her son Jack on Sept. 30, recently took time to reflect on the last two heartbreaking months.
The mom of Miles, 2, and Luna, 4, whom she shares with John Legend, took time on Nov. 28 to pen how she is beginning to see the light at the end of the tunnel.
“When I’m old and grey, I will look back on the last two months as being brutal, exhausting, sad, physically challenging, mentally painful b*tches of a couple months.”
She captioned the photo of herself. Teigen, dawned an outfit entirely in black, except for light blue pug socks.
“But I refuse to not find humor in both the rage-fits and the outfits.”
Chrissy went on, revealing how she began to feel her pain evolve.
“I already see the leaves as orange instead of grey, realized the sky is indeed blue and not black and horn honks on my forced morning walks only bring me to my knees half the time. I can make it up my stairs only stopping once or twice instead of every other, and can get out of the bathtub all by myself as long as I have the promise john will dry me off. anyhow the point is, f*ck, I think it’s happening 
Since their loss, Chrissy and John have been very vocal about their grief.
RELATED: John Legend Takes Notice Of Support Both He And Chrissy Teigen Received After Losing Baby Jack
In an essay for Medium, Chrissy revealed just why it was so important for her to have photos captured of herself in the hospital on the morning they lost Jack.
“I had asked my mom and John to take pictures, no matter how uncomfortable it was. I explained to a very hesitant John that I needed them, and that I did NOT want to have to ever ask. That he just had to do it,” she shared.
“He hated it. I could tell. It didn’t make sense to him at the time. But I knew I needed to know of this moment forever, the same way I needed to remember us kissing at the end of the aisle, the same way I needed to remember our tears of joy after Luna and Miles. And I absolutely knew I needed to share this story.”