“I know I’ve been quiet, and lord knows you don’t want to hear about me, but I want you to know I’ve been sitting in a hole of deserved global punishment, the ultimate ‘sit here and think about what you’ve done,'” Teigen wrote in a blog post Monday.
Last month, Teigen was found publicly harassing Courtney Stodden, who was told to kill themself when they were just 16. This is not the first time Teigen has made headlines for bullying. She also has a history of unapologetically slandering Avril Lavigne, Lindsay Lohan and Republican politician Sarah Palin.
“Not a day, not a single moment has passed where I haven’t felt the crushing weight of regret for the things I’ve said in the past,” Teigen wrote in reference to her tweets. “I’m truly ashamed of them. As I look at them and understand the hurt they caused, I have to stop and wonder: How could I have done that?”
Teigen goes on to detail how she attempted damage control and her feelings on that too.
“I’m in the process of privately reaching out to the people I insulted,” she continued. “I understand that they may not want to speak to me. I don’t think I’d like to speak to me…But if they do, I am here and I will listen to what they have to say, while apologizing through sobs.”
Teigen continues, admitting that the person who wrote those tweets is not the same person crafting the detailed apology, today.
“The truth is, I’m no longer the person who wrote those horrible things. I grew up, got therapy, got married, had kids, got more therapy, experienced loss and pain, got more therapy and experienced more life. AND GOT MORE THERAPY. Life has made me more empathetic. I’m more understanding of what motivates trolling — the instant gratification that you get from lashing out and clapping back, throwing rocks at someone you think is invincible because they’re famous. Also, I know now how it feels to be on the receiving end of incredible vitriol. Believe me, the irony of this is not lost on me.”
“I’m going to keep working to be the best version of myself for EVERYONE. Everyone deserves better — even my detractors. And better is what you can expect from me. The world needs more kindness and love and I want to contribute to it. I’ve been on a path of self-improvement for the past decade and that path is going to continue.”
Teigen goes on to ask not forgiveness, but patience and space for her to continue to evolve.
“We are all more than our worst moments. I won’t ask for your forgiveness, only your patience and tolerance. I ask that you allow me, as I promise to allow you, to own past mistakes and be given the opportunity to seek self-improvement and change.”
With a background in the creative and educational fields, Amelia Finefrock is freelance writer, singer-songwriter and nanny based in Chicago.
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