In Reddit’s AITA forum, one mother asked for advice from the community on her husband who was disappointed after learning the gender of their new baby.
A 25-year-old pregnant mom to one (OP), revealed how she and her husband are having issues over their baby to be. “My husband M30 (30-year-old man) been together for three years, we have a two-year-old baby boy, I’m 20 weeks pregnant.” she wrote.
Mom had a doctor’s appointment recently and found out their baby’s sex.
“Last week we went to my doctor to get an ultrasound and reveal the baby gender,” OP said.
They found out how they were having a girl in four months — and the mother was beyond excited.
“I was so excited,” OP said upon finding out she was having a girl. “Though my husband acted cold and went silent til we got to the car.
“He seemed so so upset, his face was red, almost like he was going to cry,’ OP recalled.
“I asked what was wrong but at first he denied it had anything to do with the baby gender, then he just couldn’t hold it.”
The dad apparently lost it.
“He broke down and said that he was upset it was a girl and not a boy,” OP explained in the Reddit post. Dad said that the ultrasound “clearly got it wrong,” and when she corrected him and said “it was indeed a girl,” her husband got even more upset.
OP went on to explain how her husband told her that he wanted the baby to be a boy and said he was “disappointed it was a girl.”
“He said that he doesn’t think he’ll be able to handle it, I was stunned,” OP wrote. “I just [stared] at him confused, did he say he was disappointed, does that mean that when his daughter is born will be treated as a disappointment, and be reminded when she grow up,” she worried.
But the dad was also upset with his wife.
“He lashed out at me, asking me to be a little understanding, because he likes boys more and would prefer a son over a daughter,” she continued, “and blamed me for this.”
He then scolded her and blamed her for having a girl instead of a boy. Yeesh.
“I yelled at how unreasonable he sounded, how could I ever be responsible for baby gender I wouldn’t know, I shamed him for what he said and told him since this is how he thinks then he didn’t deserve to be a dad,” OP said.
The two’s argument escalated from there and the two continued to argue.
“We don’t talk anymore, he keeps asking for an apology that i will not give because I owe him nothing,” OP wrote. “He owes me an apology.”
The OP then asked Reddit if she was in the wrong and owed her husband an apology or if he was the one who should apologize. “NTA He’s the one responsible for it being a girl, so he can only blame himself,” one Reddit user replied.
While another [agreed] the mom was in the clear. “Some men love blaming women for anything they don’t like about a developing fetus, and that is bulls–t. He is a male chauvinist. If he doesn’t like girls, or surprises, he never should have decided to be a parent in the first place. He owes you a huge apology, and you guys should look into family therapy ASAP if you want to continue to be, you know, a family.”
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With a background in the creative and educational fields, Amelia Finefrock is freelance writer, singer-songwriter and nanny based in Chicago.