One mother shares her story of how she named her child after her late boyfriend once she separated from her angry ex-husband.
In Reddit’s AITA, one anonymous new mom asked for advice in her post, revealing how she and her baby’s father are not together anymore. She went on to allege that her husband was having an affair with his co-worker, which led to the breakdown of their marriage.
“My husband and I are currently separated and we are getting divorced,” she said. “I’m going to file in a week or two, and we’ve been living separately since I was 6 months pregnant.” And when it came time for labor, the mom-to-be did not call her husband.
“I didn’t inform him when I went into labor,” she explained. “My sister and best friend were there for me. I gave birth to my healthy baby boy and named him after my childhood sweetheart Daniel, my first love, who sadly passed away when he was 20 from leukemia. It was the most heartbreaking thing that ever happened to me. It affected really me bad.”
She then explained how she met her now-husband six years after Daniel died and two years after that, they were married and decided to try and get pregnant three years into their marriage.
And while it seemed like both she and her husband agreed on the name for their son — she had a change of heart.
“My husband’s name is Phillipe and in his family, the firstborn sons are always named after their father,” she explained. “So we decided to name him Phil,” but after she and her husband separated, she changed her mind.
“However, after our separation I started experiencing Daniel’s presence around me,” she said. “I was a mess, but I saw dreams where Dan would talk to me and tell me that everything would be okay.”
OP said that she felt “like Dan’s spirit has helped me heal and gave me the strength to cope with the breakdown of my marriage.”
And due to this, she decided to change the name plan for her son. “When my boy was born, I named him Daniel. His middle name was after my grandfather, and I gave him my last name.” And exactly a month after her son was born, she informed her estranged husband.
“A month later, I contacted my husband and informed him that his son was born a month ago,” she said. The new mom revealed in that phone call how she “was going to file for divorce and to chalk out any visitation if he wanted. I had him blocked everywhere for a month.”
And during the phone call, it sounded like she didn’t inform the child’s dad what the little one’s name was but later, she revealed the news of her baby’s birth on social media including his name.
“The same day, I reactivated my Facebook and announced the birth of my son with his full name,” OP explained. “My husband called me up crying and furious, and told me that I had no right” to give their son the name she chose.
“His family thinks I’m the devil incarnate, and even my mom thinks I went too far,” OP added. The OP then asked for others to chime in, one user sharing:
“ESH – Your ex husband for cheating while pregnant for sure. You didn’t want him at the birth that’s fine, didn’t want to name the baby after him also fine, you don’t want anything to do with him completely understandable,” one Reddit user wrote.
“I say esh,” another Redditer commented, adding to the hundreds of comments. “I absolutely get why you did it, but it will definitely affect your son’s life and his relationship with his family. Can a compromise be reached? No matter who wins the argument, little boy is gonna pay the price, so why choose this hill?”
What do you think? Comment below!
With a background in the creative and educational fields, Amelia Finefrock is freelance writer, singer-songwriter and nanny based in Chicago.