TRIGGER WARNING: This post contains discussion of potential sexual assault.
A mom writes in asking for advice about her almost 3-year-old daughter, who she says made a comment that raised alarm bells. Another mysterious incident shortly after has this mom very concerned. She wants to know what to do: Is she overreacting? Should she call her daughter’s doctor or someone else?
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A member of the community asks:
“*Trigger warning* What should I do about this situation with my daughter?
My daughter is almost three and made a comment that made me really uneasy a few days ago, and I tried to ask her about it, and she wouldn’t answer me about it, so I just let it go. I went to change her diaper, and she said, “my butt is pretty” I tried asking her who said that to her etc. and she didn’t answer so I let it go.
Today she was at my mom’s house visiting while I’m at home and my mom called and said that she had diarrhea really bad and she went to change her, and she had it everywhere, and she wiped her, and she started screaming and crying, so she looked, and there’s a cut in/on her vagina (I have not seen it yet, but she’s bringing her home, and I’m going to look) What should I do?
Do I call her dr or who do I call? There should not be a cut there at all, and I don’t know what I’m supposed to do to look further into this or what? Please help. I’m so concerned especially now that she has a cut there, and from the comment, she made as well. I just want to make sure she’s safe. She’s normally only with me, so I don’t want to assume something is happening, but I don’t want to just turn a blind eye either.”
Community Advice for This Mom Who Is Worried About Her Daughter May Have Been Sexually Abused
To see what advice the Mamas Uncut Facebook community has for this mom in need, read the comments of the post embedded below.
The community offered this mom in need a lot of great advice. Read some of their responses below.
“1. Look yourself to check. 2. Bring her to the pediatrician and from there she will be able to tell you what to do (if anything needs to be done). Don’t panic. If your daughter’s nails haven’t been cut there is always a chance that she had an itch and accidentally scratched herself there or it could just be bad diaper rash from the poop.”
“I know a family who went through a similar situation where they thought their little girl was been fiddled with, she was crying every time mom wiped there, so they took her to hospital and doctor found a cut. Thankfully she wasn’t been molested and doctor said she could have had sand, or someone wiped too hard with wipes. It’s best to go to the doctor and make sure your baby girl is OK. Hope she’s fine and no one done harm to her.”
“Just go to the doctor. If you know who your child is around and think there’s no way then chances ate she cut herself while scratching it touching down there. But it’s always better safe than sorry.”
” Call her doc. Don’t question her. If someone has abused her anything she says will be thrown out unless questioned by professional. Talking from experience.”
“Call the doctor’s office and tell them you have a private issue that needs to be discussed immediately. The doctor will help you decide the next steps. I truly understand how frightening this is. My daughter woke up to blood in her underwear at the age of 4. I called the doctor because my daughter and I trust her. Thankfully it was not sexual or physical abuse.”
“You also need to evaluate her surroundings, this could have easily happened on a riding toy, such as rocky horse, tricycle seat, etc. Kids sometimes play hard… has she fallen on an object such as building blocks. This doesn’t always mean she is being abused by someone.”
“Idk how old she is but I have a day and little girls will touch, itch or rub making themselves very red. If their nails are long they definitely could scratch themselves. I’ve seen them go overboard wiping and hurt themselves. The comments are concerning. Don’t put words in her mouth. If her pediatrician can take a look that would be helpful I think.”
If you suspect you or someone you know has been or is being sexually abused, please contact RAINN (Rape, Abuse, and Incest National Network) for information and guidance.
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