A community mom writes in looking for advice on whether she should get a DNA test for her 6-month-old baby. Her ex doesn’t trust that it is his baby because of text messages he found from a male friend.
A Community Member asks:
“Hi, so I and ex have broken up, and we have a six-month-old together. He’s saying unless I have DNA test, we won’t be seeing him as he as doubts that he is his. Over two years ago, I deleted messages from another guy who is just a friend, but now this guy messages again (whilst baby is in hospital, he was only asking how I was doing) my ex sees it and is now demanding I do a DNA test.
I have refused, as it’s over $100, and I hadn’t that sort of money, but because of the deleting messages two years ago and him popping up now, he says that it may be this friend’s baby. Other stuff has happened and it’s been an on-off relationship the whole three years. Sometimes very toxic and police called. No trust on either side really. Should I do the test or not??“
Community Advice for the Mom Looking for Advice on Whether to Get a DNA Test for Her Baby
To see what advice the Mamas Uncut Facebook community has for this mom, read the comments of the post embedded below.
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The community gave some great advice; you can read some of these responses below.
“He can pay for the test. Depending where you are, he can get a court-ordered test, and if the child is his he has to reimburse you the total cost. Do not get back with this man.”
“So there isn’t any question about I would have it done not only for the point of proving him wrong but for the sake of your child as well knowing 100% who his/her father is and in proving he is the father you can file for child support from him as well. It’s the fairest thing to do for your child.“
“Take him to court. In my region, they’ll make him pay for it. If it comes back as not his you will have to reimburse him but if it is his then custody and child support cases can start.”
“If you have a Walgreens by you I seen them pretty cheap I just looked online I saw one for 27.99. I believe you can get them from Amazon too. I would do one just to make him look really stupid for doubting that baby and then slap him with child support.”
“If a man can walk away from a child that he has helped raise for 6 months on the off chance the child isn’t he then you may be lucky to get rid of him.”
“He’s saying this to get out of child support. If you want it from him & believe he’ll be a dad to your son after a test proves he is, then apply for child support. The court will take care of the paternity test. He may have to pay for it himself. If you don’t think he’ll stick around either way then forget it. Don’t let his accusations bother you. You know the truth.“
Getting a DNA test is probably a good idea if you are wanting to get child support from him, although I have seen courts force child support, whether it is their child or not.
The community recommended getting the DNA test just to prove something to him. I would say if that is what you are after then go ahead, but if you are doing it for the child support, I would look into talking with a lawyer. In the meantime, do some research and see if you can find some on Amazon for a cheaper price. I hope it all goes well for you and you get what you need to support you and your baby.
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Dawn Onye is a Certified Lactation Counselor. With this certification comes education and her own experience helping mothers and babies with breastfeeding. With her CLC, she is required to keep herself up to date on the research studies, conferences, and training related to breastfeeding. She chose this field not just because she is an advocate for the benefits of breastfeeding, but because she sincerely loves working with mothers and babies. Her mission is not to push breastfeeding on all mothers and babies, but to help all mothers reach the goals they have and to provide the expertise for them to do so. The most important thing in life is to do what is best for your family without judgment from others.
Dawn is also a wife and a mother. She has four children ranging from 12 to 19 years old. She can help many families with tips and tricks she has learned along the way. She loves to read and write. Her favorite seasons are spring and fall, although she does enjoy summers while spending time with her family. There has been no greater accomplishment in life for her than being a mother.
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