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QUESTION: My husband cheated and now leaves his phone at his mom’s house: Do I have a right to see his phone?
“Hi, I’d like to remain anonymous. My husband and I have been married for 19 years; we have two boys, ages 16 and 7. We were separated for a year last year, I left the house because he drinks too much and is always accusing me of being unfaithful. I just got my Bachelor’s Degree in December. I came back home in January, and things didn’t change much between us. Last month I went over his phone and found messages on his phone from other women.
Some were dated from the time we were separated and one from March. I confronted him, and he said they were just friends, and I told him we don’t have friends we call “Baby”. I’m only staying with him for now till I get a job and he can support my boys and me. Am I wrong for being upset? He now keeps his phone at his mom’s house after work, so I won’t see it. I have a right to see his phone, don’t you think?”
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Community Answers
The following top answers have been selected by a moderator from hundreds of responses to the original question.
“Just leave him right away or wait till you could manage on your own. There’s no point hanging on to someone who is not loyal. If you or your kids need him, you’ll have to put up with this and more.”
“Do what you have to do for now to get stable enough to support you and your kids. He will have to pay child support, so that will be extra income for you when you leave. If he is leaving his phone at his mom’s. I would tell him to stay there w it. But that’s just me. I have been where you are and believe me, you can make it on small amounts. Never depend on a man to take care of you.”
“You don’t have a right to it but the fact that he hides it from you should tell you all you need to know. Follow your gut not your heart.”
“You’ve already seen the messages. He keeps his phone with his mom for a reason. You already know. The reason he was accusing you is because that’s what he’s doing. No need to see any more. Just focus on yourself & kids & get away from him. You deserve better.”
“You have every right to be upset. Because he is hiding something. But seems like yall already decided it may be over.”
“First of all, I highly doubt the phone is at his mother’s house. It’s probably turned off or on silent and hidden. Men who cheat can’t leave their phone for that long. They have it. Just out of sight. Hidden in a vehicle or in the bathroom where they have privacy.”
“I wouldn’t worry about the phone. Let him be him while you get on your feet. Look for a job, get a place, and begin the divorce.”
“Innocent people don’t go to those lengths to hide what they are doing. He obviously has no plans to stop.”
“If he is going that far so you won’t see his phone… something isn’t right plus usually the one accusing is always the one doing.”
“Trust is gone. Just leave. Cut your losses it’ll be better for you and your kids.”
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