A mom writes in asking for advice about her ex, whom she says gave her old engagement ring to his new girlfriend. She says that she and her ex are on good terms, and she is also on good terms with his girlfriend (who recently became his fiancée). But she is bothered by the fact that he proposed using a ring she used to wear, and that she had hoped would eventually be passed to one of the two sons she shares with her ex. Does she have a right to be upset, or should she let it go?
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A member of the community asks:
“Do I have a right to be upset that my ex gave my engagement ring to his new girlfriend?
My ex and I were high school sweethearts, and we share two children together. We were together for 21 years and engaged for many years. We are now friends, and I am friends with his girlfriend, there are no hard feelings. Here’s where I need to help to process something: He proposed last weekend to his girlfriend… with the same ring I wore for years before I ended the engagement due to his drinking problem and lack of being a responsible adult for myself and our kids.
There are no romantic feelings, and I’m not jealous, but I feel like the ring represents the good times and the love that we once had. We had discussed making it into a necklace for me or giving it to our boys; now it will likely be given to his new fiancée’s daughter. Am I wrong for feeling a little sad about this? Am I holding too much sentimental value to a possession? Is it tacky that she knows that was my ring and flaunts it?”
– Mamas Uncut Community Member
Community Advice for This Mom Whose Ex Gave Her Old Engagement Ring to His New Fiancée
To see what advice the Mamas Uncut Facebook community has for this mom in need, read the comments of the post embedded below.
Advice Summary
The community offered this mom in need a lot of great advice. Read some of their responses below.
“I find it odd that he would give his new girl his ex’s ring. I personally would not wear a ring my husband had given to someone else.”
“I’d be more upset if I was the girlfriend. Nobody wants someone else’s engagement ring!”
“That is weird. I can’t believe she is okay with it and honestly, after that many years, it was yours to keep. You should have put it up for the boys if they wanted it. It’s a sentimental thing. I was married to my ex-husband and highschool sweetheart too. We got a divorce at 25. I took nothing out of our divorce but the kids stuff and my clothes. I kept the rings and put them up for our kids just in case. I’m 35 now and no one else should have them. Just a piece of history.”
“I think it’s tacky. Honestly, I would be highly offended if I was the new girlfriend too. A ring is typically chosen specifically for the person… Unless it’s a family heirloom.”
“Some men don’t think… my husband still had the wedding set he bought his ex-wife and thought he would give it to me… I put a stop to that real quick lol. He really did not think of it with any type of sentimentality at all he just thought it was the perfect ring and paid $10,000 on it. I made him pawn it and buy me a cheap ring. No way I was wearing another woman’s ring.”
“I’d be sad and hurt over that too! That’s special. And I also definitely would not wear a ring that once belonged to his ex.”
“t’s tacky on his part and I can’t fathom why this chick would want that ring but no you shouldn’t be upset about it. You should be rejoicing to be done with such a classless man. And the next time she flaunts it in front of you I’d say, ‘aren’t you afraid that it’s a cursed ring?’ Or something like that.”
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