100 Funny Love Quotes That Anyone In Love Will Relate To

Any person who has been in a successful relationship will tell you that having a sense of humor is key. Funny love quotes celebrate the absurdity of romance and how relationships can be characterized as both agonizing and sublime. The paradox of love has been mined for comedic gold for as long as humans have been shaking up with one another. Why? If we take ourselves too seriously in a relationship, we often lack perspicaciousness (the ability to look at the big picture).

We wanted to find the best funny love quotes so we looked to famous thinkers, old adages, proverbs, and sayings to find the most relatable sentiments about all things love. We were pleased to find 100 excellent quotes that will come in handy for any number of situations. Take a moment and read through them below and we guarantee they’ll bring a smile to your face.

You’re Going to Get a Kick Out of These Funny Love Quotes!

Spot-On Funny Love Quotes

funny love quotes
  • “Love is being stupid together.” – Paul Valery
  • “Love is a fire. But whether it is going to warm your hearth or burn down your house, you can never tell.” – Joan Crawford
  • “Men are from Earth. Women are from Earth. Deal with it.” – George Carlin
  • “Love is like an hourglass, with the heart filling up as the brain empties.” – Jules Renard
  • “Love can change a person the way a parent can change a baby- awkwardly, and often with a great deal of mess.” – Lemony Snicket

Funny Love Quotes About Marriage

funny love quotes
  • “The secret of a happy marriage remains a secret.” – Henry Youngman
  • “As a man in a relationship, you have a choice: You can be right or you can be happy.” – Ralphie May
  • “By all means marry. If you get a good wife, you’ll be happy. If you get a bad one, you’ll become a philosopher.” – Socrates
  • “Marriage is a lot like the army, everyone complains, but you’d be surprised at the large number that re-enlist.” – James Garner
  • “Marriage is like twirling a baton, turning a handspring or eating with chopsticks; it looks easy until you try it.” – Helen Rowland

Charming Funny Love Quotes

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  • “Real love amounts to withholding the truth, even when you’re offered the perfect opportunity to hurt someone’s feelings.” – David Sedaris
  • “When a couple is arguing over who loves who more, the one that gives up is the real winner.” – Unknown
  • “Marriage is not just spiritual communion and passionate embraces; marriage is also three-meals-a-day and remembering to carry out the trash.” – Joyce Brothers
  • “I know a man who gave up smoking, drinking, sex, and rich food. He was healthy right up to the time he killed himself.” – Johnny Carson
  • “Love doesn’t drop on you unexpectedly; you have to give off signals, sort of like an amateur radio operator.” – Helen Gurley Brown

Relatable Funny Love Quotes

funny love quotes
  •  “Love; A temporary insanity curable by marriage.” – Ambrose Bierce
  • “I kissed my first girl and smoked my first cigarette on the same day. I haven’t had time for tobacco since.” – Arturo Toscanini
  • “In love, somehow, a man’s heart is always either exceeding the speed limit or getting parked in the wrong place.” – Rowland
  • An archaeologist is the best husband any woman can have; the older she gets the more interested he is in her. – Agatha Christie
  • Whatever you may look like, marry a man your own age – as your beauty fades, so will his eyesight. – Phyllis Diller

Funny Love Quotes You’ll Want to Frame

funny love quotes
  • “I love you and it’s getting worse.” – Joseph E. Morris
  • “Women marry men hoping they will change. Men marry women hoping they will not. So each is inevitably disappointed.” – Albert Einstein
  • “I recently read that love is entirely a matter of chemistry. That must be why my wife treats me like toxic waste.” – David Bissonette
  • “Women are meant to be loved, not to be understood.” – Oscar Wilde
  • “People who throw kisses are hopelessly lazy.” – Bob Hope

Memorable Funny Love Quotes

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  • “If love is the answer, could you rephrase the question?” – Lilly Tomlin
  • “Love is like a tornado, picks you up off your feet and sometimes takes half your house.” – Unknown
  • “Honesty is the key to a relationship. If you can fake that, you’re in.” – Richard Jeni
  • “Romantic love is mental illness. But it’s a pleasurable one.” – Fran Lebowitz
  • “True love comes quietly, without banners or flashing lights. If you hear bells, get your ears checked.” – Erich Segal

Exhilarating Funny Love Quotes

funny love quotes
  • “Love is much nicer to be in than an automobile accident, a tight girdle, a higher tax bracket, or a holding pattern over Philadelphia.” – Judith Viorst
  • “They say that love is more important than money, but have you ever tried to pay your bills with a hug?” – Unknown
  • “We’re like Romeo & Juliet… Except for the dying part of course.” – Justina
  • “Love is like finding a needle in a haystack.” – FaithHopeNLove
  • “Love is not having to hold in your farts anymore.” – Bree Luckey

Funny Love Quotes That Get It

funny love quotes
  • “You can’t put a price tag on love. But if you could, I’d wait for it to go on sale.” – Hussein Nishah
  • “In any perfect relationship men should remember it’s a matter of direction; she takes what’s right and you take what’s left.” – Solitaire Parke
  • “My wife and I were happy for 20 years – then we met.” – Rodney Dangerfield
  • “Love is a sweet dream and marriage is the alarm clock.” – Jewish Proverb
  • “The key to a successful relationship is to clear your internet history.” – Quoteistan

Endearing Funny Love Quotes

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  • “Love is an electric blanket with somebody else in control of the switch.” – Cathy Carlyle
  • “The more she turned right the more I turned wrong.” – Mark W. Boyer
  • “If only one could tell true love from false love as one can tell mushrooms from toadstools.” – Katherine Mansfield
  • “Love is blind but marriage is a real eye-opener.” – Pauline Thomason
  • “Marriage is a great institution for those who like institutions.” – Tommy Dewar

Special Funny Love Quotes

funny love quotes
  • “Women love a self-confident bald man.” – Larry David
  • “My last love is just like that thong Peter Griffin borrowed from me… Never getting it back.” – Refinnej Sin
  • “If she happens to fall, I’ll be there to laugh at first and then help her up afterward.” – J.A. Redmerski
  • “I almost had a psychic girlfriend but she left me before we met.” – Steven Wright
  • “I went to a meeting for premature ejaculators. I left early.” – Jack Benny

Smashing Funny Love Quotes

funny love quotes
  • “My best birth control now is just to leave the lights on.” – Joan Rivers
  • “My brother is gay and my parents don’t care, as long as he marries a doctor.” – Elayne Boosler
  • “My wife was afraid of the dark… then she saw me naked and now she’s afraid of the light.” – Rodney Dangerfield
  • “Marriage is really tough because you have to deal with feelings and lawyers.” – Richard Pryor
  • “Love is a lot like a backache: it doesn’t show up on X-rays, but you know it’s there.” – George Burns

RELATED: 100 Funny Valentines Day Quotes That Spread Laughter and Love

Engaging Funny Love Quotes

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  • “My friends tell me I have an intimacy problem. But they don’t really know me.” – Garry Shandling
  • “Love is telling someone their hair extensions are showing.” – Natasha Leggero
  • “I love being married. It’s so great to find one special person you want to annoy for the rest of your life.” – Rita Rudner
  • “Before you marry a person, you should first make them use a computer with slow Internet service to see who they really are.” – Will Ferrell
  • “People should fall in love with their eyes closed.” – Andy Warhol

Refreshing Funny Love Quotes

funny love quotes
  • “I love you no matter what you do, but do you have to do so much of it?” – Jean Illsley Clarke
  • “I love you so much I’d fight a bear for you. Well, not a grizzly bear because they have claws, and not a panda bear because they know Kung Fu. But a carebear, I’d definitely fight a carebear for you.” – Unknown
  • “Love is fun but, it is not going to pay the bills.” – Jessica Martin
  • “True love is like ghosts, which everyone talks about and few have seen.” – Francois de la Rochefoucauld
  • “A man in love is not complete until he is married. Then he is finished.” – Zsa Zsa Gabor

Sensational Funny Love Quotes

funny love quotes
  • “My phone battery lasts longer than most of my relationships nowadays.” – Unknown
  • “Women need a reason to have sex. Men just need a place.” – Billy Crystal
  • “Love is grand; divorce is a hundred grand.” – Unknown
  • “My wife gets all the money I make. I just get an apple and clean clothes every morning.” – Ray Romano
  • “There are only three things women need in life: food, water, and compliments.” – Chris Rock

Grand Funny Love Quotes

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  • “If you can stay in love for more than two years, you’re on something.” – Fran Lebowitz
  • “I was married by a judge. I should have asked for a jury.” – Groucho Marx
  • “Obviously, if I was serious about having a relationship with someone long-term, the last people I would introduce him to would be my family.” – Chelsea Handler
  • “Being a good husband is like being a stand-up comic. You need 10 years before you can call yourself a beginner.” – Jerry Seinfeld
  • “If you text ‘I love you’ to a person and the person writes back an emoji — no matter what that emoji is, they don’t love you back.” – Chelsea Peretti

Exceptional Funny Love Quotes

funny love quotes
  • “It wasn’t love at first sight. It took a full five minutes.” – Lucille Ball
  • “I thought I was promiscuous, but it turns out I was just thorough.” – Russell Brand
  • “Love is the only kind of fire which is never covered by insurance.” – Unknown
  • “A man falls in love through his eyes, a woman through her ears.” – Les Dawson
  • “I had a dream that I still loved you. I think I woke up screaming.” – Unknown

Great Funny Love Quotes

funny love quotes
  • “Love is a two-way street constantly under construction.” – Carroll Bryant
  • “I want someone who will pause his game just to answer my call.” – Unknown
  • “Loss for words? Give that person a hug. It’s worth a thousand and more. Plus, it’s free.” – Unknown
  • “A good marriage is like a casserole, only those responsible for it really know what goes in it.” – Unknown
  • “Love doesn’t make the world go round. Love is what makes the ride worthwhile.” – Franklin P. Jones

Funny Love Quotes That Feel Essential

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  • “When you’re in love, it’s the most glorious two-and-a-half days of your life.” – Richard Lewis
  • “Love with old men is as the sun upon the snow, it dazzles more than it warms.” – J. P. Senn
  • “If you love ’em in the morning with their eyes full of crust; if you love ’em at night with their hair full of rollers, chances are, you’re in love.” – Miles Davis
  • “All you need is love. But a little chocolate now and then doesn’t hurt.” – Charles M. Schulz
  • “I love you more than coffee, but please don’t make me prove it.” – Elizabeth Evans

Even More Funny Love Quotes

funny love quotes
  • “What’s the difference between a boyfriend and a husband? About 30 pounds.” – Cindy Garner
  • “Love is a mutual self-giving which ends in self-recovery.” – Fulton J. Sheen
  • “Marrying a man is like buying something you’ve been admiring for a long time in a shop window. You may love it when you get it home, but it doesn’t always go with everything else.” – Jean Kerr
  • “Gravitation is not responsible for people falling in love.” – Albert Einstein
  • “Eighty percent of married men cheat in America. The rest cheat in Europe.” – Jackie Mason

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Final Funny Love Quotes

funny love quotes
  • “He gave her a look that you could have poured on a waffle.” – Ring Lardner
  • “Love is sharing your popcorn.” – Charles Schultz
  • “Marriage is like vitamins: we supplement each other’s minimum daily requirements.” – Kathy Mohnke
  • “What’s the best way to have your husband remember your anniversary? Get married on his birthday.” – Cindy Garner
  • “Marriage is like a bank account. You put it in, you take it out, you lose interest.” – Professor Irwin Corey

Wow! Aren’t these funny love quotes relatable? We hope you enjoyed these quotes and will share them with those who need a little cheering up. Every relationship has its ups and downs but we don’t have to take everything so seriously. These quotes lighten the mood and help us see things from a new perspective.

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