125 gilmore girl quotes

125 Gilmore Girls Quotes That Will Transport You Straight to Stars Hollow

Hit TV series Gilmore Girls ran for seven seasons and we all went through so much with the lovable characters. Gilmore Girls quotes celebrate the show’s witty, rapid-fire banter and capture some of the most iconic moments from the show. From Lorelai going back and forth between Luke and Christopher to Rory getting ahold of her emotions to Sookie delivering some devilishly good one-liners, there is no shortage of Gilmore Girls quotes to pull from.

You might have grown up watching the show or watched the show with the younger ones in your family. The enviable relationship between Rory and Lorelai felt like something audiences had never seen before in a mother-daughter dynamic on TV. There’s just so much to love about the show and we’ve rounded up our favorite quotes from it to help you relive its brilliance. Enjoy!

Gilmore Girls Quotes: Rory

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  • “I love you, you idiot.”
  • “I feel like this is my time to be rootless and just see where life takes me, and travel wherever there’s a story to write.”
  • “I can go from zero to studying in less than 60 seconds!”
  • “Hey, call me crazy, but I just don’t think that Butterfingers go with jujubes.”
  • “You never socialized me properly. I should hate you right now. Do something to make me hate you.”

More Gilmore Girls Quotes from Rory

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  • “God, you are like a pop-up book from hell.”
  • “I’m just a big, fat Wookie-humping loser with no future!”
  • “My sock drawer could be a better mother than Courtney Love.”
  • “Nothing excites me before 11.”
  • “My books look sad. Can books look sad?”

Even More Gilmore Girls Quotes from Rory

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  • “It’s Avril Lavigne’s world. We’re just living in it.”
  • “I’m going to have to quit drinking coffee! And I love coffee — I really love coffee!”
  • “A little nervous breakdown can work wonders for a girl.”
  • “Oh, I found that if I focus too much on one subject, I start to get a little punchy.”
  • “I live in two worlds — one is a world of books.”

More Rory Gilmore Girls Quotes

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  • “He’s like the lost Farrelly brother. He’s so stupid. He watched The Breakfast Club and decided to tape his own butt cheeks together.”
  • “You’ve got such a great brain!”
  • “You jump, I jump jack.”
  • “I cannot do this alone, I need my mommy and I don’t care who knows it.”
  • “My mother never gave me any idea that I couldn’t do whatever I wanted to do or be, whomever I wanted to be. As she guided me through these incredible 18 years, I don’t know if she ever realized that the person I most wanted to be was her.”

Lorelai Gilmore Girl Quotes

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  • “I even cleaned the table using something other than the sleeve of my sweater and spit.”
  • “Reality has no place in our world.”
  • “As long as everything is exactly the way I want it, I’m totally flexible.”
  • “If eating cake is wrong, I don’t want to be right.”
  • “There have been very few moments in my life where I have actually wished I had one of those enormous creme pies you can just smash in somebody’s face. But this is definitely one of them.”

Gilmore Girls Quotes from Lorelai

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  • “My mother is fast asleep in my bed, clutching my Hello Kitty pillow, and yes, I have pictures.”
  • “There’s plenty to do tonight that we can be mortified about tomorrow.”
  • “You’re full of hate and loathing, and I gotta tell you — I love it!”
  • “I’m not broken. Maybe just a little chipped.”
  • “You can’t watch Willy Wonka without massive amounts of junk food.”

Even More Great Lorelai Gilmore Girls Quotes

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  • “You know my babbling capabilities are infinite.”
  • [Entering into Luke’s Coffee Shop] “Give me a burger, onion rings, and a list of people who killed their parents and got away with it. I need some heroes.”
  • “You have so many years of screw-ups ahead of you.”
  • “I smell snow.”
  • “If it was physically possible to make love to a hot beverage, this would be the one.”

More Gilmore Girls Quotes That Prove Lorelai Stays at 100

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  • “Life’s been pretty good to you. It was your turn for a few curveballs. Peaks and valleys, kid.”
  • “I need caffeine. Whatever form you’ve got it. I haven’t had any all day. I’ll drink it, shoot it, eat it, snort it, whatever form it’s in, gimme.”
  • “Hey, tomorrow, if you have time, I’m planning on despising everyone who says, ‘Hey, how’s it going?’”
  • “I love pudding. I worship it. I have a bowl up on the mantel at home with the Virgin Mary, a glass of wine, and a dollar bill next to it.”
  • “If you’re going to throw your life away, he’d better have a motorcycle.”

Unstoppable Lorelai Gilmore Girls Quotes

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  • “I need coffee in an IV.”
  • “Oh yes, it was beautiful in there. We should commemorate it with an oil painting or a severed head or something.”
  • “Hey, I have a New Year’s resolution for you: Become more cynical and self-absorbed.”
  • “I don’t like Mondays, but unfortunately they come around, eventually.”
  • “I’m afraid once your heart is involved, it all comes out in moron.”

More Fun Lorelai Gilmore Girls Quotes

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  • “I hate when I’m an idiot and don’t know it. I like being aware of my idiocy.”
  • “Hey, I have a huge dilemma that I need your opinion on. Am I more beautiful today than yesterday?”
  • “Oy with the poodles already!”
  • “I’ll help you shower when I become a superhero.”
  • “I’m attracted to pie. It doesn’t mean I feel the need to date pie.”

Luke Gilmore Girls Quotes

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  • “I don’t even like kids. They always have jam on their hands. Even when there isn’t any jam in the house, they get jam on their hands. I can’t deal with jam hands.”
  • “I had a meeting at the bank earlier, they like callers.”
  • “Always safer to know which direction the tornado’s coming from.”
  • “You gotta realize the only way out is in a body bag.”
  • “I’m having nightmares where I’m being chased by boxes with arms and they tackle me and throw clothes on top of me and secure it with masking tape and while I’m lying there, you’re standing in the corner laughing putting gel in your hair!”

More Gilmore Girls Quotes from Luke

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  • “Yeah, I’m fine. I’m great. It’s a big, fat, happy sunshine day for me.”
  • “Fresh coffee will be ready in a minute unless you want to just roll up a dollar bill and go nuts.”
  • “Lorelei, this thing we’re doing here, me, you. I just wanted you to know I’m in. I am all in.”
  • “Violent pencil-tossing usually signals a need for pie.”
  • “God, that’s terrible. It’s like drinking a My Little Pony.”

Emily Gilmore Girls Quotes

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  • “You wear that in public?”
  • “You never do anything unless it’s exactly what you want to do. You never have. You go through life like a natural disaster, knocking down everything and everyone in your path.”
  • “Well, it’s not every day I have my girls here for dinner on a day the banks are open.”
  • “You can use your mother’s old golf clubs. They’re upstairs, gathering dust, with the rest of her potential.”
  • “Hold on, I’m looking up ‘aneurysm’ in our medical dictionary to see if I just had one.”

More Gilmore Girls Quotes from Emily

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  • “Well then, buy me a boa and drive me to Reno, because I am open for business!”
  • “Your sense of humor rears its ugly head at the oddest of times, Richard.”
  • “Well, if you expect that muffin to fly back to the kitchen by itself, you better go get it a cape.”
  • “Just let me buy my plane, Lorelai. Let me be frivolous and shallow, will you please?”
  • “I was going to wait until you called me, but my life isn’t as long as yours.”

Even More Gilmore Girls Quotes from Emily

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  • “I am going to go insane. If you don’t help me, I’ll take you with me.”
  • “At least she had a husband to kill.”
  • “No. It’s a hologram. Lifelike, isn’t it?”
  • “When a woman gives birth to a crack baby, you do not buy her a puppy.”
  • “Small-town charm is good for a weekend, Lorelai, but I have no interest in having a next-door neighbor walk in with a pie, wanting to chat. I would kill myself and my neighbors.”

RELATED: 100 Funny Love Quotes That Anyone In Love Will Relate To

Paris Gilmore Girls Quotes

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  • “No men. Just lots and lots of Chinese food.” 
  • “No, it’s National Baptism Day. Tie your tubes, idiot.”
  • “You, Logan Huntzberger, are a two-bit, spoiled waste of a trust fund. You offer nothing to women or the world in general. If you were to disappear from the face of the Earth tomorrow, the only person that would miss you is your Porsche dealer.” 
  • “Sure, we’re girls, so we could only be arguing about a boy, right? Sexist, white-haired…”
  • “I can’t date. I’m not genetically set up for it.” 

More Gilmore Girls Quotes from Paris

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  • “Sleep when you’re dead.”
  • “Then let it remove the tar from our souls.”
  • “People like you. You’re quiet. You say ‘excuse me.’ You look like little birds help you get dressed in the morning.”
  • “After all the trouble this sex thing has caused me, I better have been good.”
  • “I can scare the stupid out of you, but the lazy runs deep.”

Logan Gilmore Girls Quotes

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  • “You have to tell me why we’re committing a felony before we do it.” 
  • “People can live for a hundred years without living a minute. You climb up here with me, it’s one less minute you haven’t lived.”
  • “It’s club soda, ace.”
  • “You really did only like me for my looks, huh?”
  • “I don’t need to do anything but be right here with you.” 

More Gilmore Girls Quotes from Logan

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  • “I have thought about asking you out several times. I just don’t think it’s a good idea, because you’re special.”
  • “I don’t want to stop seeing you.”
  • “If I saw me doing this, I’d beat the crap out of myself.”
  • “Rory, if you come with me, I won’t get on the plane.”
  • “I’m here to ask your permission. Your permission to ask Rory to marry me.”

Babette Gilmore Girls Quotes

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  • “Gnome kicking says a lot about a man’s character.”
  • “By the way, that was some half-a**ed kiss you two had.”
  • “Oh God, I hope nothing’s happened to him. You get so attached to their little faces, sometimes you can hear them talk to you at night.”
  • “Yeah, it’s my voice. It frightens the hell out of people. I don’t know what to do about it.”
  • “For every good woman, there’s a dirty little wolf ready to lead her astray.”

Sookie Gilmore Girls Quotes

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  • “You were a good cake, Clyde. I never should have named you.”
  • “Oh, my goodness. You’re a movie star! I’m serious. At some point tonight, walk down a flight of stairs. Movie stars always walk down staircases.”
  • “Crying a little, but not blubbering. That’s what we meant when we said ‘no crying.’ No blubbering.”
  • “Raise your right hand and say, ‘May Destiny’s Child break up if I count these blueberries.'”
  • “I can’t believe Rory’s turning 21. It seems like just yesterday she was crying because you told her Charlotte Bronte couldn’t come to her sleepover because she’s dead.”

Jess Gilmore Girl Quotes

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  • “Think how dull your life would be without me.”
  • “Man, she’s not shipping off to ‘Nam.”
  • “Basket. Basketmaker. Guy who didn’t bring enough money.” 
  • “Do you Yahoo?”
  •  “I don’t want to talk to anybody else. I don’t like anybody else.”

More Gilmore Girls Quotes from Jess

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  • “Tell her I gotta take another crack at that closet. I think I hung my Tool t-shirt next to my Metallica t-shirt and they don’t really get along.”
  • “Oh yeah, I’ve got gold stars plastered all over my forehead.”
  • “I gotta tell you, out of all the nutty barn-raising shindigs this town can cook up, this one wasn’t half bad.”
  • “I’m sorry. I thought this was the uniform.”
  • “Well geez, Ms. Gilmore, why would anyone not want to be in Stars Hollow? That just sounds plumb crazy.”

Michel Gilmore Girls Quotes

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  • “You can trust nothing and no one, ever.” 
  • “Excuse me. There is a phone call for you and if I’m to fetch you like a dog then I’d like a cookie and a raise.”
  • “I’ll put some fruit on my head and join a conga line.”
  • “People are particularly stupid today.”
  • “Every day that you breathe, you make my life harder.”

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Richard Gilmore Girls Quotes

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  • “Well, I’ll bring dick up on the internet and see what comes up.”
  • “Really? You can see the driveway with your head way up in the air like that?”
  • “Oh, people die, we pay. People crash a car, we pay. People lose a foot, we pay.”
  • “Only prostitutes have two glasses of wine at lunch.”
  • “Cranking Metallica. Is that some sort of drug reference, it’s not funny.”

There you go! We hope these Gilmore Girls quotes took you back to the first time you first heard them on the show. The show is so endlessly quotable. Let us know what quotes we missed!

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