A woman writes in asking for advice because she feels ignored by her boyfriend when her boyfriend is busy caring for his 4-year-old daughter. The girlfriend doesn’t feel like he puts in the same effort she puts into their relationship and now she’s looking for advice on what to do about it.
A member of the community asks:
“My current boyfriend of 10 months has a 4-year-old kid. When he has his kid, I feel ignored. [I get] less text sometimes or no text or calls at all. I try to reach out but I feel like I am bugging if he is not even making some sort of effort to reply or answer at times. But when he doesn’t have her, he gives me the attention I want.
I have thought about ending it with him not just for that reason, but I feel like I am wasting my time if he can’t appreciate that I am willing to work with him or at least make time even to talk or text. I know he has a busy agenda — our first Christmas I gave him a gift and one for his kid. I didn’t expect anything in return, but sure enough, he didn’t bother even to give me a greeting card. Am I overthinking this? Thank you in advance.”
Community Advice for This Girlfriend Who Feels Ignored by Her Boyfriend When He’s Parenting
To see what advice the Mamas Uncut Facebook community has for this girlfriend in need, read the comments of the post embedded below.
His child will always come first. One commenter wrote, “Children come first no matter what! It sounds like he handles his business when it comes to his daughter. Although it’s understandable for you to be a bit ignored. I would move on and find a person with no kids. Kids are first no matter what.”
Another person added, “His kid should always come first, before you and anyone and everyone else. He’s spending what little time he has with his daughter and focusing on her (as he should). While I‘ll give you some credit for giving her a gift as well, aside from that it doesn’t seem that you’re ready/mature enough to be in a relationship with someone with a child.”
And one community member said, “Children will always (should always) come first if you don’t realize that you probably shouldn’t be with someone with a child.”
Do you have any advice for this mom? Leave a comment to help another mom out!
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