A mom writes in asking for relationship advice. She is married to a man who she describes as “perfect,” and yet she is unhappy. Despite all of the good things her husband does, she finds him boring and ultimately maybe just too different from her.
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A member of the community asks:
“How do I know if I am in the right relationship? Let me first start out by saying that I love my husband dearly. He is an amazing father and would go above and beyond for us. We have been together for nine years, and we have four beautiful kids together. He is perfect in every sense and would go above and beyond for us.
The problem is, I am so very unhappy with our relationship. We are two totally different people. With two totally different personalities. He bores me sometimes because he has no personality. I am fun, wild, and outgoing. He is just blah. I feel so bad complaining about this because any woman would be lucky to have him but I cannot help but think I am missing out on someone who really could make me happy. I just wanna live my best life and feel like sometimes, my husband is holding me back from doing that. Can someone help? What do I do? I know in my heart he is not the one I am meant to be with but I cannot even think about breaking his heart or our family apart. Am I being selfish for having these feelings?”
Community Advice for This Mom Who Is Not Sure She’s in the Right Relationship
To see what advice the Mamas Uncut Facebook community has for this mom in need, read the comments of the post embedded below.
The community offered this mom in need a lot of great relationship advice. Read some of their responses below.
“Find some friends who are fun!!!! And spend time with them trust me. I look forward to hanging out with my mom friends over drinks more than anything.”
“If you are truly not happy then leave. Staying for fear of hurting someone else will eventually backfire. But before you leave talk to him. Explain the feelings. Maybe try counseling, date nights, things to bring fire into it. Sometimes you just need a reminder not a replacement.”
“I would say Welcome to Marriage. If you divorce and get remarried, you will not only have the same problems with him especially with children, but with a new person you will inherit new problems. So be careful and very aware of what you want to balance.”
“Maybe the problem is you two have gotten into a routine, you should really tell your husband you want to have more fun, preferably together. For example, sign up for salsa dancing lessons. Find a new hobby you two can do together that is fun for both of you. I bet you to don’t have date nights anymore either. Maybe if you talk to him you will find out he wants to do new and exciting things, maybe he does not know how to approach you about it. But leaving is the last thing you should do with how much it seems you really love him.”
“Get to a therapist now. Or at least talk to the poor man. Don’t blindside him. That’s completely unfair to not only your husband but your kids. I’m not saying you can help how you feel, but you at least need to give him a chance to be the man you want/need.”
“THE GRASS IS ALWAYS GREENER ON THE OTHER SIDE! I cannot stress this enough! Ask him to spice things up for you. My husband doesn’t always get it right. However, when I communicate with him he really tries to make an effort to change and make me happier overall. Give him a chance to make things right.”
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