The Bachelor‘s Tanner Tolbert recently opened up to People’s Nick Viall about his new baby, son Brooks Easton, whom he shares with Jade Roper Tolbert. More specifically, Tanner got candid about the couple’s postpartum sex life. He shared that while he wants to have sex more after the arrival of the couple’s two children, his wife “wants it less.”
“It took a dive [when Jade started nursing Emmy] and then pretty much right after the breastfeeding stopped, we got pregnant again with Brooks,” Tolbert said. “And now he’s here and we have two kids. It is tough. I feel like I’ve begged for it. And I don’t want to feel selfish — I hate asking, I hate trying, ’cause I don’t want it to be pity sex.”
How Long Should You Wait to Have Sex After Having a Baby?
So, what does sex look like after having a baby? While the desire to have sex varies from person to person, doctors typically recommend that you wait about six weeks after having a baby.
People asked Dr. Sara Swift, an OB-GYN in Green Bay, Wisconsin, just how long you should wait. She confirmed, “six weeks or until after your provider has cleared you.” This rule applies whether you’ve had a cesarean or vaginal birth.”
The main reason you should wait (apart from recovering from delivery, both mentally and physically), is the increased risk of infection. “Your placenta is a big raw spot (think big wound), which can be a great place for an infection,” Swift said. “That, combined with a dilated cervix, is a perfect setup for an infection.”
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It’s official! Say hello to Brooks Easton Tolbert – Born July 29th at 10:31 pm in our home, weighing 7lbs 9oz and 20 in long! He has been the sweetest baby and we are soaking in every single moment! (Thank you @shophighway3 for his beautiful and soft personalized baby blanket! We absolutely love it! Use TINYTOLBERT for 20% off a personalized blanket for someone special, too)
Swift also noted that “postpartum sex should not be rushed!”
The Tolberts welcomed their second child in dramatic fashion earlier this summer. Jade was forced to deliver her son in her own closet, as she wasn’t able to make it to the hospital fast enough.
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My birth story episode is now up on the Mommies Tell All podcast! I sat down with Carly a couple days ago and opened up to her about the details of the night and how it exactly came to be that Brooks was born in our closet. *link in bio to listen or check out my stories* ❤️My biggest gratitudes to Tanner, my mom, my mother-in-law, Laguna Beach OBGYN and Midwifery, the nurses at Mission Hospital and of course the Orange County Fire Authority Paramedics who all helped me through this labor, delivery and recovery.❤️
The whole family seems to be doing well now (minus the postpartum love life difficulties, and pretty much every difficulty that comes with having a new baby), and we wish them continued success as both parents and a married couple.
Matt is a writer, editor, and content strategist currently based in Washington state. He has worked as a managing editor for the iconic I Can Has Cheezburger, Celebuzz (a SpinMedia site), and now Mamas Uncut. He also acted as the Social Media Director for CafeMom.
Mamas Uncut is THE online place for moms. We cover the latest about motherhood, parenting, and entertainment as well – all with a mom-focused twist. So if you're looking for parenting advice from real parents, we have plenty of it, all for moms from moms, and also experts. Because, at the end of the day, our mission is focused solely on empowering moms and moms-to-be with the knowledge and answers they’re looking for in one safe space.