A mom writes in asking for advice about her husband. She says she accidentally learned that her husband requested scandalous photos from a girl he apparently friends with on the popular social media app, Snapchat. She found a saved conversation in which her husband was replying to a photo of the girl, who was in a barely-there outfit, in which he asked why she had not sent the photos to him directly. How should she confront her husband?
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A member of the community asks:
“My husband asked for pics from a girl on Snapchat: Advice?
Hey, I’m not even sure what to say, but I need some advice. I’ve been with my husband for five years, and we’ve been married for 3. We have a 3-year-old and one on the way. There was only one other time I had seen his private messages. But today I just happened to get on his Snapchat and was going to post a selfie of myself. On his Snapchat story. So I wasn’t gonna even look at his messages, but I decided to and this girl I guess he’s been friends with on there for a few years now. It’s actually one of his buddy’s sisters.
Well, I open his messages to her, and you can only save a conversation if you want to on there. He had commented on a picture I’m assuming she posted on her story, and it was her in her underwear and bra with a shirt pulled up so you could see her stomach a full body picture. I’m sure you can imagine. Well, he saved her picture on their conversation and commented to her, “why don’t you send me these?!” Practically just a bra and underwear picture.
We have a whole life together. I feel very disrespected and hurt. I’ve never talked to guys the whole time we’ve been together. Never disrespected him like that in any way. I love him very much. But I’m feeling very hurt about him telling this girl to send him pretty much almost naked pictures of herself to him. I’m his wife; this is completely infuriating and hurtful. What would y’all do? I’m not even sure what to say to him. Soon as I say something, he’s just gonna acted pissed I was looking at his messages with this girl. And ignore the real problem.”
Community Advice for This Mom Who Discovered Her Husband Asked for Scandalous Photos of Another Woman on Snapchat
To see what advice the Mamas Uncut Facebook community has for this mom in need, read the comments of the post embedded below.
The community offered this mom in need a lot of great advice. Read some of their responses below.
“Well, you’re his wife? So if he gets upset then he should be upset with himself. A real man will apologize and know he’s in the wrong and change for the better of your relationship. If he wants pics of other girls then maybe he should be single.”
“That is literally cheating. I wouldn’t feel bad at all or let him get pissed for you catching him. Imagine what goes on that you don’t know.”
“I’m so sorry this is happening, but please know this type of behavior never changes. If you stay you will end up teaching your daughter she deserves less than what she’s worth and if you have a son he will grow to believe this is how women are to be valued. I know because I left too late. God bless and keep you because the road isn’t easy either way all you have to decide is when to start the journey.”
“This is so complicated and I’m sorry you’re going through this. I can’t even imagine. I’m such a trust person in marriage and I’d be absolutely done.”
“Go with your gut feeling because I’m 100% sure this is not the 1st girl. You’re hurt because your instincts know what he’s really doing and your heart doesn’t want to believe it. Married or not, he’s hitting on girls behind your back. Imagine that girl is not sending him pics because no girl wants a cheater. Don’t be that girl that accepts it. And he’s going to get mad and lie that it was only one time….if you want a cheater the rest of your life then, by all means, stay with him. You deserve better.”
“Start saving money, and have the baby first, by then you will have had some time to think about what You really want to do. God bless, prayers for you all.”
“LEAVE. Trust me, its not just messages. And it’s probably not even the first girl. Sorry. But you don’t have a life with him… he is just in yours. Someone who can do that is not trying to build a life. It will get worse if you don’t leave.”
“Nope, that would be a deal-breaker for me. He should have more respect than that for you and your relationship together. Who cares if he gets pissed that you looked through their messages. He shouldn’t have things to hide to begin with.”
“If you have somewhere to go, I’d say scare him by packing up your bags and taking your kid with you for a few weeks… till he learns a lesson. But be prepared if he ends it and doesn’t chase you. He needs to be brought to his knees …some men need the harder lesson especially those who twist the narrative and want to blame you.”
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