I Found Out My Son’s Girlfriend Said She Hated Me Even Though I Go Above and Beyond for Her: Advice?

A grandmother writes in asking for advice after she thought she was doing right by her son’s girlfriend when she purchases all they could ever need for their now 7-month-old child. However, after the girlfriend left her messages on the grandmother’s phone, she learned that the mother of her grandchild “hates” her. Now she’s left wondering if she should say something to her.

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A member of the community asks:

“My son and his girlfriend have been together for nearly two years, and they have a seven-month-old baby whom I adore. Ever since I found out she was expecting, I went and bought all the clothes, all the toys, diapers, wipes, diaper bag, pack and play, just everything you possibly need for a baby. She didn’t have to buy anything and still doesn’t for at least another year. I have always been extra sweet to her because I had no reason not to be.

Recently, she used my phone and logged onto messenger, but she left her messenger open, and I just happened to see where she was telling somebody that she hated me and she couldn’t stand me, and she wished that I would go on somewhere. Now I haven’t overstepped my bounds I just bought the things that she couldn’t, and I gave them to her.

At first, I was really mad and hurt, and now I am completely confused on how you can hate somebody who’s done nothing but been good to you and your child and your previous child. I watch the children five to six, sometimes seven, days a week. Even when she’s off work. She will not come to get them. Am I age? I need a break from time to time, but I never say anything because I’m scared she’ll just say well fine if you can’t keep them like I need you to I’ll find somebody else.

It doesn’t matter who watches the children; she will leave them with just anybody. I don’t know if I should say something or not say something, but I definitely feel some type of way about this. I’m a very sad Nana, and I try to do good by everyone I just don’t know how to wrap my head around this that she hates me…”

– Mamas Uncut Community Member

Community Advice for This Grandmother Who Is Upset Her Son’s Girlfriend Doesn’t Like Her

To see what advice the Mamas Uncut Facebook community has for this mom in need, read the comments of the post embedded below.

Advice Summary

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Some think it would be best for her to talk to her son first before confronting his girlfriend. One commenter wrote, “Talk to your son. Maybe you did or said something that was taken wrong?”

Another person added, “Did she ASK you to buy those things? Do you respect her as a mom around her children/your son? Do you listen to her rules in regards to her children? Maybe you do overstep bounds and don’t realize it, but she doesn’t want to say anything so YOU won’t tell her you’re not keeping their kid anymore. My MIL pushes boundaries all the time but doesn’t think she’s doing anything wrong and it does get really irritating.”

And one community member said, “Confront the son. Do what you can for him and his baby, never mind her if she’s ungrateful and mean.”

Do you have any advice for this mom? Leave a comment to help another mom out!

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