I’m Look for Some Advice on Adoption, Can Anyone Help?

A mom writes in asking for advice after she and her husband started looking into adoption because they found out they were pregnant. They don’t want to give up their unborn baby girl, but the mom says she’s nervous that they won’t be able to give the child the life she deserve already being parents to three other kids. Do you have any advice for this concerned mom?

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A member of the community asks:

“I was wondering if anyone has any information on adoption? Backstory: I have three kids, two biological, and in the process of adopting my stepson. My youngest two are seven months apart. I just found out I’m pregnant, and my husband and I agreed to look into adoption, but I am terrified.

I can tell he doesn’t want to give the baby up, and neither do I, but a part of me doesn’t think we can give her the life she deserves. I love all my babies, and this is incredibly stressful. We just moved to a completely new state, no one other than my husband knows I’m pregnant. I became a stay at home mom to work one on one with our three kids, and it’s all just scary to me. Before this, I never left my home state. He knows I’m scared. I know he’s scared. Just looking for advice, I guess?

I feel like a terrible mother, but I honestly don’t know if I could handle 4… I just want her to have the best life possible and to be loved. Thank you in advance for your time and comments.”

– Mamas Uncut Community Member

Community Advice for This Mom Who Is Looking Into Adoption After Learning She’s Pregnant

To see what advice the Mamas Uncut Facebook community has for this mom in need, read the comments of the post embedded below.

Advice Summary

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Here is what some of our community members said to this terrified mom. One person wrote, “If you want adoption, look into maybe an open adoption. I’ve never been in your shoes but I know this must be a hard decision for you. And there is never anything wrong with wanting what you feel is best for your child. And only you and your husband know what that is.”

Another commenter said, “I have 4. When I found out about my last pregnancy, I panicked a bit. Any more than two kids is a handful. So what’s the difference? You’re worried now about your existing children, I get it. But since you have already had them it’s going to be way too painful for you to let this one go. Do what’s best for your family but don’t promise this baby to someone else to just change your mind. Raising any amount of children is hard. But I think it would be harder to wonder for the rest of your life where this one is and how you made him/her feel.”

And one mom added, “Completely normal thoughts. Being scared is completely normal for the both of you. My two youngest are 14 months apart. Was it easy? Some harder than others. Was it and is it worth it? Yes! I say, pray about it though. If you truly feel this is the only option, then I am sure there are plenty of adoption agencies that will help you pick a perfect loving family.”

Do you have any advice for this mom? Leave a comment to help another mom out!

Over on the Mamas Uncut Facebook page, our robust community of moms is always having a conversation about topics that matter. We like to highlight those conversations from time to time. Important mom questions. Thoughtful mom answers.

Do you have a question you’d like answered? Submit it to the Mamas Uncut Facebook page, and we may feature it along with some of the best answers on this site! You can remain completely anonymous while still getting the information and support you need from other moms who know what it’s like.

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