It’s now the year 2020 and it’s legal in every single state to breastfeed in public. In fact, it’s encouraged. Moms are told by physicians and health experts that breastfeeding is best for the baby. Why then, are moms still being shamed in public and online for simply feeding their children?
Former reality TV star and Bachelor alum Jade Roper Tolbert is the latest celebrity mom to experience mom-shaming after she shared a breastfeeding video. However, Jade isn’t going to be the victim of any of that nonsense. She responded in the most perfect way possible.
The ordeal began when Jade Roper Tolbert posted a video to her Instagram story.
Former stars of Bachelor in Paradise, Jade and her husband, Tanner Tolbert, met on the show and share two children together. Jade posts to Instagram frequently about raising her children and includes helpful tips and relatable pics about motherhood.
Jade’s youngest, 5-month-old Brooks is still breastfeeding. Recently, Jade took to Insta to post about being lazy during the time after Christmas but before the new year. She posted a video of her nursing Brooks and then turned the camera to her messy home. “Lazy football Sunday. We still have Christmas gifts strewn all over the living room,” she captioned the post.
You’d think the innocuous post was no big deal but think again.
Jade was just minding her business, being her mom-self when she received a DM from someone who thought they could mom shame her.
The DM said, “STOP!!!! We don’t want to see that. At least put up a warning.”
Jade Roper Tolbert took a screenshot of the DM and posted it for her followers to see.
Jade posted the DM for her followers to see what she was dealing with. She captioned the post, “Breastfeeding is a natural way some babies EAT. So sorry, no warning here. You see more boob in a bikini.”
Burn. That’s the clapback every single nursing mom wanted to see!
It’s shocking that Jade Roper Tolbert would get criticized for breastfeeding considering she’s struggled with it.
Just weeks before the latest incident, Jade posted about the difficulties she’s experienced nursing her son. She posted an adorable photo of Brooks with a lengthy caption explaining the situation:
Our feeding journey with Brooks has been a really hard one. We’ve dealt with dairy and soy allergies that left him crying for hours on hours from malabsorption, a lip and tongue tie we were advised not to revise (although they give him a poor latch), milk supply issues, foremilk/hindmilk imbalance. It feels like the list goes on. I think one of the biggest worries we have as mothers of little babies is if they are getting enough to eat and if they are gaining enough weight.
We went to Brooks’ four month check up and I was crushed to find out he’s in the 5th percentile, and that the ped was very concerned about his weight gain. I’ve never felt more like a failure. The feelings of guilt that my baby was aching for food and nutrition, and I didn’t know it, consumed me. I knew he was a string bean (he’s tall for his age), but with how hard we work on his feedings, I guess I didn’t think he was that tiny compared to other babies his age.
It can be hard to fully give your attention to each child sometimes when you are taking care of a baby and a toddler too, and I feel so bad I may have been missing some cues from him I didn’t know he was showing. I’ve changed my whole diet and so many other parts of my life to make sure he is getting good feedings, so it’s just so hard to know that it’s not enough.
We were recommended by his doctor to supplement after every breastfeeding and to add extra feedings, so we’ve been doing that with a hypoallergenic formula that’ll hopefully help him put on weight before his weight gain check-up. Any mamas out there that had babies that were on the lower end of the weight percentiles? How did you get through the worry and the guilt? How did you not over obsess with the progress? There’s been so many tears over here, but we are strong and working on getting this little guy some rolls. I’d do about anything in the world to help keep Brooks healthy and thriving. Anyway, thanks for letting me vent, I guess I’m just hoping to know we aren’t alone in this feeding struggle.
The struggles with breastfeeding came only after Jade Roper Tolbert had given birth to Brooks in her closet…
Jade had a dramatic closet birth. She recently posted about that scary experience saying, “2019 was full of challenges for me, including an unplanned, adrenaline based 70 min labor and birth in our master closet; which, I’m still unpacking the emotional and mental trauma from it. But, this moment also made me stronger.”
Wow. Jade has seen it all! Think of the audacity it must take for someone to make remarks regarding her parenting after all that she’s been through.
Jade Roper Tolbert handled that troll like a professional! But, she’s had some practice with internet trolls before.
Jade’s daughter, Emerson, is just two years old. Earlier this year, Jade posted an image of her and someone sent her a DM saying that her daughter was, “showing signs of autism.”
Jade posted the DM and responded to the troll saying, “You all, these are not okay messages to send people. If you all mean well, it’s still not OK to say she has autism or needs speech therapy or to comment any sort of thing like that to anyone about their child. We are her parents, we have a great pediatrician, and we know her development. Comments like this really throw me for a loop.”
Can we just let mothers live in peace?
Jade got some pushback after the first response, so she had to double down. She said, “I’m saying people would never come up to someone in public and say these things. There needs to be some sort of internet etiquette. You don’t get to go rogue because you’re behind a keyboard.”
Jade is the patron saint of moms on the internet.
After a crazy few months, we’re happy that Jade and her family are doing well.
To all the haters and trolls out there, don’t come for Jade, because she’ll take you out!
We love following Jade Roper Tolbert’s journey as a mom. We also love that she fearlessly stands up for herself and her family! 2020 is going to be a great year for the Roper/Tolbert family.
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