Jana Kramer posted a personal diary entry to Instagram this weekend about suffering from an abusive relationship.
Kramer even posted photos of the journal entry from 2004 regarding her first abuser.
“I spoke this morning at a seminar about domestic violence and abuse….All types of it,” Kramer’s caption began. “I decided to look back in my journal last night and I felt pulled to share this.”
“This entry was from my journal back in 2004 when I was dating my first abuser. The sad truth is, I was in that cycle for many years after that. Believing that was what I deserved.”
“I think back to the beautiful Gabby Petito and so many women who have lost their lives to the hands of a man and it’s heartbreaking the cycle and how we view ourselves and hang on to their words and ‘hope’. Let me be clear abuse is NEVER okay. Mentally, physically, emotionally etc. Never okay. I KNOW how hard it is to leave. I know how they can literally deplete you of any self-worth. That’s what they do best. Make you believe no one else in the world would want you.”
“Here’s the truth. You DON’T deserve that. No one ever does. And I’m here to tell you you ARE WORTHY and you ARE STRONG ENOUGH. The next entry I wrote was the day he actually did try to kill me and strangled me to the ground,” Kramer continued.
“I was one of the lucky ones….and I’m really hoping this helps someone right now too so you can also be the lucky one. 1-4 [women] experience domestic violence in their lifetime. Owning our story, and loving ourselves through the process, is the bravest thing we will ever do.”
In the journal entry, Jana spoke of a man who told her “he was going to get his gun and kill me.”
Her entry continues, “I was the most confused and hurt in my life…and I couldn’t even recall what started it. He then went off on a huge psycho rant threatening to put the dogs on the 101 and kill them, kill himself, and burn my clothes, and ruin my life. Its hard to write all this and say I’m with him after all that. I was so weak that I let him back in. II want all the stuff that we have always talked abut but I can’t keep living like this. Things have sorta changed a bit…”
After being “choked to the ground” by the same man, a younger Jana admitted to herself that she’s “so done hurting.”
“I truly realized that I deserve the best and I’ll get it.,” her journal entry concludes.
With a background in the creative and educational fields, Amelia Finefrock is freelance writer, singer-songwriter and nanny based in Chicago.
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