A mom writes in asking for advice about age gaps. She says her son is turning one, and she is aiming to have another one within the next year. It would give a 21 or 22 month age gap between kids. She is wondering if this is a good amount of time between kids. She wants her children to be close, but she doesn’t want to miss out on her first baby’s big moments. Is it true that when babies are closer in age it’s a lot more work for the parents despite the fact the kids are likely to be closer to one another?
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A member of the community asks:
“How far apart are your kids?
How far apart are your babies? My son is turning one, and we are looking to try right after his birthday. So they would be 21/22 months apart, I believe. I’m looking for insight. I want my babies close in age so they can be friends and grow up close together, but I don’t want to feel I miss out on my first baby. Is that a real thing as I heard when babies are close in age it’s a lot of work, BUT the kids are very close?”
– Mamas Uncut Community Member
Community Advice for This Mom Who Wants to Know if Having Kids Closer in Age Is Harder on Parents But Results in a Better Relationship Between the Kids
To see what advice the Mamas Uncut Facebook community has for this mom in need, read the comments of the post embedded below.
Advice Summary
The community offered this mom in need a lot of great advice. Read some of their responses below.
“I have 5 kids so bare with me. My first is about 3 years from the 2nd. My 2nd is about 18 months from the 3rd and the others are almost exactly 2 years apart. From my experience, and mine only, they get along better when they are further in age. Could not be everyone’s situation but the children I have closer in age tend to bicker and fight more than the ones further in age in my current situation. I have ages from 4 to 12 now.”
“My sister and I are 14 months apart. We always fought as children. We were rarely friends. As adults, we are very close. My daughter is 7 years older than her brother and I LOVE their relationship. She is almost 17 and he is 10 and they have always found things to do together. They get along super well and there is no competition between them for attention. I think the age gap has less to do with the relationships you foster between them.”
“I have 4. 21, 18, 17, and 14. We are pretty close in general but my 17 and 18 yrs old are like best friends. My 21- and 14-year-olds annoy the heck out of each other. All kids of all ages are hard work. Biggest adjustment for me was going from one to two. After that, you learn to multitask.”
“It honestly depends on the kids. Having kids close together doesn’t mean they will get along and be best friends, tbh. My brother is 6 years older than me and we have always been close. On that note, my children will be 4 or more years apart.”
“My kids are almost to the day 3 years apart. I was actually paranoid that my daughter would be born on my son’s bday. I feel like it’s perfect. My son is a little older and a little more independent. He is old enough to be a “helper”. He absolutely adores his sissy too. Personally, I would wait another year.”
“I’m pregnant with my second baby my kids will be a month shy of being 5 years apart. I’m 10 years older then my brother and 14 years older then my sister and we have always been extremely close!! I don’t think age difference matters I just think it depends on the kids.”
“Mine are 15 months apart. They are close and play well together. It can be a struggle when they are small, especially when the 2nd baby is a newborn. To me, it did feel a little like I was taking away from my older son, but my husband and I worked it out where I could spend some one on one with him before bed every evening.”
“8 years! Lol Mine are 10 and 2. My siblings and I however are all 17-18 months apart. We are all super tight now!”
“My girls are 23 months apart. And most days they are best friends, other days, not so much.”
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