My Boyfriend Will Not Give Me the Password to His Phone: Should I Be Concerned?

A mom writes in asking for advice after she asked the father of her child, her boyfriend, for the password to his phone and he wouldn’t give it to her. The mom writes that her concern comes after he already deleted his social media accounts due to a fight they had about comments he left on his ex’s photographs. She’s left wondering if she should end their relationship because it’s hard for her to trust that he’s not hiding something on his phone. What kind of advice can you offer this mom?

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A member of the community asks:

“My question is, would you continue to be in a relationship if your boyfriend doesn’t give you the password to his phone? I am living with my boyfriend (for almost a year now), and we have a child together, but I have never been allowed on his phone. He knows the password to my phone and knows he can take it whenever he wants (e.g., if his phone is dead and he needs to call someone, text someone, or just wants to go on my phone), but he will not allow me on his phone.

He deactivated his FB and Instagram account because of an argument we had (he commented and liked a picture of his ex while I was eight months pregnant), so I can’t imagine what would be on his phone that he doesn’t want me to see.

I understand (and have told him) that I don’t care to go through personal things on his phone, but I feel that if you don’t want me to even hold your phone much less, go on it, then you’re clearly hiding something. I’m contemplating ending this relationship because of this. Phones are so much of our life now, and the fact that I can’t even look at it very concerns me.”

– Mamas Uncut Community Member

Community Advice for This Mom Worried About What Her Boyfriend Might Be Hiding

To see what advice the Mamas Uncut Facebook community has for this mom in need, read the comments of the post embedded below.

Fan QuestionMy boyfriend will not give me the password to his phone: Should I be concnered?My question is, would you…

Posted by Mamas Uncut on Friday, November 8, 2019

Advice Summary


There are a lot of different pieces of advice for this mom to digest. Many people were left wondering why she so badly wants his password, while others suggested changing the password on her phone to see how he reacts.

One commenter wrote, “First you should try changing your password on your phone and see how he reacts. Second, don’t use your baby life or death defense as an excuse for needing the password because you can call 911 from a locked phone. Third, I can understand that he wants his privacy just like you want yours. And fourth, he is definitely hiding something. He may not be actually cheating but something definitely seems fishy.”

Another commenter wrote, “My question to you is why? Why do you want his password so badly? If you are questioning him or [are] suspicious then you already have bigger issues. I think it’s a person’s right to privacy. You don’t have to know everything thing…You are still individual people. Just my opinion but if this bothers you that much then maybe reevaluate your relationship altogether. It seems like you have trust issues.”

And someone else added, “My advice communication is key, I think you need to sit him down and speak before making any hasty decision while feeling this way.”

Do you have any advice for this mom? Leave a comment to help another mom out!

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