A mom writes in asking for advice about anxiety stemming from a potentially major life change. She says she was recently accepted into her dream program. The problem? It will mean she spends a lot less time with her twins. She has been a stay-at-home-mom since she had her twins two years ago, and she is struggling with the thought of being away from her babies for most of the week. She asks for advice from other moms about how to cope with this big change… or even whether she should consider delaying her start in the program.
A member of the community asks:
I got accepted to a program I really want but don’t want to leave my kids: Advice?
I recently got accepted into the program for the field that I want to be in. I was obviously super excited, but as the start day inches closer, I am so overwhelmed and stressed about it. I have twins that just turned two, and I’ve been a stay at home mom since I had them. Once I start this program, I will be gone M-F at least 6 am – 6 pm, and I have never been away from my kids that much. The longest I’ve ever been away is an overnight stay with their grandparents.
I know once I started working, I would be away from them about that much as well, but I just fear that at this age, they will not understand why mommy isn’t there with them. My sister that I trust with them will be keeping them while I am in class; however, I can’t shake the anxiety. What if something happens? What if they get choked on something? What if they fall and get really hurt?
I know she can take care of them, and I know these things could happen while I am there, but I’m not sure why I can’t get over this anxiety. My husband had told me that the choice is obviously mine to make, but I’m just not sure what to do. Once I start the program, I have to finish out at least the first semester, or else it will cause problems with my financial aid. I can stay home for another 1.5 years until the program enrollment begins again, or I can go ahead and start. Just wanting other mamas opinions, thank you.”
Community Advice for This Mom Who Is Anxious About Spending Time Away From Her Kids After Starting Her Dream Program
To see what advice the Mamas Uncut Facebook community has for this mom in need, read the comments of the post embedded below.
The community offered this mom in need a lot of great advice. Read some of their responses below.
“At this age kids are very adaptable. They most likely won’t even remember later in life. Now is the time to do it because once they get older it will just be harder. For them and for you. You all have a good support system so they won’t be doing without anything. Push through the anxiety by telling yourself you’re only a phone call away and they have their dad too. They aren’t suffering and you’ll make your time you do have together count!”
“Do the program. Kids can adapt to any situation. As long as they are safe and taken care of, you should do what you need to do.”
“Mama. You are more than a mother! You have your own goals, dreams, and aspirations outside of your mothering journey. Take a great opportunity!”
“My advice is you can always go to school. You can never get back that time they are little.”
“You are going to raise your children to emulate you. Set a good example. Take this job and don’t look back. You need to be the best you so that they can be the best them.”
“I actually just went through this situation. I graduated in May. I had to leave my babies home alone. Taught them how to do their own laundry, look after one another. Adjust to a new life. No summer camp, no time to take them on vacations, and you know what, they did wonderfully! Just be prepared to have to count on others. You got this mama!!!”
“I say go for it! You obviously applied for the program and got accepted because you were a good fit. Kids adjust so quickly at that age and the hours are only temporary. My suggestion as a single mom who did the college bit, wake up early do your chores and plan out meals, prep food after grocery shopping, having assigned days for chores, and when you get home or days off, be with your kids. They’ll grow up knowing hard work pays off by watching you be their example.”
“Your children are only little for a very short time. You can never get another chance in the early years of life as you obviously stated you can go to school at a later date. If you can financially afford staying at home and you enjoy raising your kids then there is your answer!”
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