A mom writes in asking for advice about a situation with her brother. She says her brother, whom she loves, moved in with her and her daughter a while ago and ended up sort of taking over the house, including her daughter’s room. In general, he wasn’t super helpful around the house and left messes for this mom to clean up. They eventually got into an argument in which she kicked him out, but she has felt awful about it ever since. It doesn’t help that her mom is also piling on the guilt. Was kicking him out the right call?
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A member of the community asks:
“My brother has been staying with me and taking over my daughter’s room: Advice?
Sorry for this long post, I need advice. My brother has been living with me, he is 22. He has never really been stable on his feet financially. we’ve has always been really close, I’m 26 and I have a daughter. he moved in with me about 5 months ago. He sorta just took over my daughter’s room and has been staying in there. The nights my daughter is here she sleeps with me. This all just started in recent months. Before, he was sleeping on the couch.
I know it’s not ideal but I didn’t have the heart to just tell my brother to move out. he works long hours at his job outside. I just started having him help out with rent about 2 months ago, $150 a month to help with the rent a little bit which is over $600, and for it to help with electric, water, etc. He eats groceries here, comes and goes as he pleases, so he’s had it made I think. he leaves messes constantly, laundry laying around everywhere, leaves the bathroom a mess, won’t clean up after cooking. It’s all very irritating. I just feel like I’m constantly having to clean up after him.
Today, we got into an argument, started over bills/cleaning up. he got up in my face screaming and I kicked him out. I feel absolutely terrible. My mom is trying to make me feel bad about it. I just don’t know if I’m in the wrong and shouldn’t have kicked him out or if I should’ve just let it go? Please no bashing.”
– Mamas Uncut Community Member
Community Advice for This Mom Who Kicked Her Brother Out of Her House
To see what advice the Mamas Uncut Facebook community has for this mom in need, read the comments of the post embedded below.
Advice Summary
The community offered this mom in need a lot of great advice. Read some of their responses below.
“Is he sleeping at your mom’s house? Maybe that’s why she’s giving you the guilt trip LOL. Let him be out on his own to learn how to be financially stable and then he will appreciate you.”
“He’s living in YOUR house, making messes not cleaning up after himself, eating your groceries and only pays 150$ a month and has the audacity to get in your face screaming? He seems like he’s too spoiled and too dependant, I have a really good relationship with my brother but if I took him in and he was disrespecting me I would have done the same. You don’t treat someone like that who is helping you out.”
“Let him live with your mom. He is not your responsibility to raise. He is your brother, not your mate and not your child. You owe him nothing and have done more than you had too. He clearly is not helping you so why stress?”
“You mentioned your mum is mad and trying to make you feel guilty, why can’t he live with her? You’re his sister, not his mother, and you have been taking care of him this long, she should be grateful you did it for so long. If he wants to live with you he needs to be paying half of everything and cleaning up after himself! You’re not wrong, girl.”
“If he’s working he needs to get his own place. He seems to be taking advantage of you. I wouldn’t feel bad. If your Mom is so upset, let her take him in. You need to worry about you & your daughter. He’s grown.”
“You did nothing wrong. Don’t let others make u feel bad. Its time for him to grow up. Just pray for him and take care of your daughter.”
“You are a good person.”
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Wow. everyone is frustrated during this unfortunate situation. but to use your authority like hes not allowed to respond back is and is your child. I feel is sad. he is actually yonger and not as fortunate to pay a $600 rent. which you mentioned is not your problem which is true. you have helped out. When there’s two sides to a story we only get to read yours. This clearly wasn’t the first time you thought about kicking him out.you want someone to validate your feelngs. If you was in a very bad situation pretty sure you would like being “kicked out” every time something does not go your way. Just hope you never have to feel his pain with no where to go. pray it will never be you. tables can turn. send me some information on where I can have a two bedroom for $600. you treated him like he”s your husband. you probably kicked him out also.