A mom writes in asking for advice. She cheated on her husband and got pregnant. She wonders if the baby’s father will get parental rights to the baby. They worked out their issues and her husband has forgiven her. However, she was told that because she is married, the rights to the baby go to her husband, not the real dad. She certainly hopes so because she does not like the man with whom she had an affair. Any advice for this mom?
A member of the community asks:
“So I’m not proud of it, but recently I wandered from my husband and cheated. Unfortunately, I got pregnant. My husband has forgiven me, and we’ve been working through it. I was wondering if anyone knows if the guy I slept with will have any rights to the baby? I’ve been told that because I’m married, he doesn’t, but I’m freaking out because he’s psychotic. He stabbed my tire, has stalked my house and has shown up at the hospital. I know he’s not safe, and I don’t want him around my kid.”
Community Advice for This Mom Needing Reassurance
To see what advice the Mamas Uncut Facebook community has for this mom in need, read the comments of the post embedded below.
The advice for this mom was very mixed. Some felt that the person this mom cheated on had the rights, while others thought her husband will end up with the rights. One said, “Does he want rights? If he does, sorry but it’s his kid, too. I don’t know legal ‘rights’ but morally yes it’s his child.”
Another disagreed, “I understand that if you are married that your husband is the legal father. Make sure he is on the birth certificate. If you can not afford an attorney call your Legal Aid office and they will advise you for free.” A commenter mentioned, “It depends on what state you live in. If your husband is willing to take responsibility for that child then great but don’t deny the bio dad from his child. Remember, there are also 2 sides to the story.”
One offered a suggestion. She advised, “Get a no-contact order. Even if he legally pursued you. Write down every encounter with pictures for proof. Any judge can see a man doing these things is not fit to have rights for a child.” Another commented, “Unless he knows about the baby and takes you to court, not really. Since you’re married the hospital will have your husband sign birth certificate.”
In the end, many stated that it all simply depends. One shared, “In most states because you are married your husband’s name will go on the birth certificate at birth. The other man would have to file for a DNA test with the court to gain any rights over the child!”
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