A mom writes in asking for advice. Her in-laws are horribly mean to her children, but not their other grandchildren. When it comes to birthdays and other celebrations, the other grandchildren get gifts and are showered with love. On the other hand, when it comes to her children, most of the time they receive nothing. It is not the gifts that matter to the mom, but the differences between the grandchildren because her kids are old enough to recognize it. Any advice for this mom?
A member of the community asks:
“How on earth does one deal with horrid in-laws? My husband’s family acts like he is the black sheep, and apparently, his children are as well. My problem is, there are other children in the family, our nieces, and nephews. During holidays and birthdays all the uncle’s, aunt’s and grandma show up and get nice gifts for them.
When it comes to our children, there has been many holidays and birthdays where they don’t receive a thing from most of them. My children understand it’s not a gift that matters, but the older they get, the more they see a difference between how their birthdays turn out versus their cousins. Despite the cruel unfairness to my kids, they still want to attend, and extend invitations to birthdays. I want my kids to know their worth, but I have no idea what to do.”
Community Advice for This Frustrated Mom with Her In-Laws
To see what advice the Mamas Uncut Facebook community has for this mom in need, read the comments of the post embedded below.
Advice for this mom was very simple. Everyone agreed that because her in-laws are mean to her children, but not her other grandchildren, they need to cut them out of their lives. One said, “Don’t go, it’s simple. If your children still want to be involved with the nieces and nephews then invite them to your house occasionally to play.” Another shared, “I would stop extending an invitation. You and your children don’t need that kind of emotional turmoil in your lives.”
More commenters agreed with each other and shared similar experiences. One commented, “I went through this and I had to just cut them out and stop going to events with them. We focused on the family that did care and showed my kids love and it was much better.” Another agreed and said, “Cut them out! Been through it and our family has never been happier and less worried than we are now since the horrible people aren’t in our lives. People like they aren’t worth the stress, upset or energy.”
Some offered advice along with encouragement for this mom. One commenter said, “Most of what everybody else said. But also remember your parents. The kids still have your parents as grandparents. Involve them more. Then they will still have a good grandma and grandpa.” Another shared, “I would tell them if they can’t treat all kids the same then don’t come around.”
Do you have any advice for this mom? Leave a comment to help another mom out!
Over on the Mamas Uncut Facebook page, our robust community of moms is always having a conversation about topics that matter. We like to highlight those conversations from time to time. Important mom questions. Thoughtful mom answers.
Do you have a question you’d like answered? Submit it to the Mamas Uncut Facebook page, and we may feature it along with some of the best answers on this site! You can remain completely anonymous while still getting the information and support you need from other moms who know what it’s like.
Mamas Uncut is THE online place for moms. We cover the latest about motherhood, parenting, and entertainment as well – all with a mom-focused twist. So if you're looking for parenting advice from real parents, we have plenty of it, all for moms from moms, and also experts. Because, at the end of the day, our mission is focused solely on empowering moms and moms-to-be with the knowledge and answers they’re looking for in one safe space.