My Sister Found Out She Can’t Have Kids and Now I Feel Guilty When I Mention Mine: Advice?

A mom writes in asking for advice after the sister she is very close to recently learned that it is very likely she can’t have kids. Now, as she prepares for baby number 2, the mom admits she catches herself every time she talks about her growing family while she’s around her sister. Although her sister is very happy for her, the mom is looking for some advice on how to best handle this delicate situation.

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A member of the community asks:

“Okay, mamas, I need some serious advice. So I have a son and baby #2 on the way. (My husband and I were trying). Well, I have an older sister whom I’m very close to, she’s my best friend. She is not married and has no kids yet. She just found out that there is a very high chance she may never be able to have kids. It breaks my heart watching her have to go through this.

She loves my son (her nephew) more than anything. And she’s very happy about our baby on the way, but I can tell she’s also sad. She did tell me once it kinda makes her sad, but she doesn’t want to take away from me being happy. But now I always catch myself talking about being a mom or how I can’t wait for the baby, and it makes me feel terrible.

Like I know, I should be happy, and I am, but at the same time, I feel guilty for feeling happy and talking about it, knowing she may not get to experience having her own kids. Has anyone been through this? Or does anyone have some advice? Cause I’m so lost on what I should do.”

– Mamas Uncut Community Member

Community Advice for This Mom Who Learned Her Sister Can’t Have Kids

To see what advice the Mamas Uncut Facebook community has for this mom in need, read the comments of the post embedded below.

Fan QuestionMy sister found out she can't have kids and now I feel guilty when I mention mine: Advice?Okay, mamas, I…

Posted by Mamas Uncut on Tuesday, November 5, 2019

Advice Summary


Many of those who left advice for the mom wrote that she just needs to be there for her sister as much as she can be. One commenter wrote, “If this news is new to her then I would definitely be sensitive about her feelings. She will struggle for quite some time and just when she thinks it will get easier the feelings will come back with a vengeance. It will get easier for her and you will be able to share in your excitement eventually. I would just be sensitive about it now.”

Another person wrote, “It’s your sister just talk to her and tell her your feelings about it all. Honestly, it’s the best thing you could do. Let her open up freely without taking it wrong. Let her say it makes her sad or whatever and tell her you feel the same way. Open conversations are always very healing.”

And one mom added, “Call your sister up and talk to her. Tell her how you’re feeling. Make sure that she knows you would never try to hurt her feelings! I’m sure she is going to bond great with #2 just as she did with #1. It will probably even help her!!”

Do you have any advice for this mom? Leave a comment to help another mom out!

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