my daughter doesn't want to be at her dad's because she doesn't get along with his step kids: help?

My Daughter Doesn’t Want to Be at Her Dad’s Because She Doesn’t Get Along With His Step Kids: Help?

A mom writes in asking for advice after she had to send her 9-year-old daughter to her dad’s for Thanksgiving due to their custody agreement. However, because her daughter doesn’t get along with her dad’s new wife’s kids, she’s been miserable and her mom feels horrible about it. Now she’s wondering how she can make the situation better for her daughter.

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A member of the community asks:

“My 9-year-old daughter is at her father’s for the holidays but she is absolutely miserable. We have a custody agreement that says he gets her on Thanksgiving this year but it’s to the point where I feel horrible to send her there, but legally, I know that I have too.

At what point is this the child’s choice? She adores her dad but she doesn’t get along with his new wife’s kids and I know this is the reason she doesn’t want to be there. I am torn because I want her spending time with him but I also don’t want her to fall into a depression due to being there. Help?”

– Mamas Uncut Community Member

Community Advice for This Mom Whose Daughter Is Unhappy at Her Dad’s

To see what advice the Mamas Uncut Facebook community has for this mom in need, read the comments of the post embedded below.

Advice Summary

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Many people suggested working out a different schedule or having her daughter tell her dad how she feels.

One commenter wrote, “When I was little my dad had me every other weekend. His new wife had a daughter my age but we just didn’t get along; totally different people. His wife’s daughter would go to her dad’s on my weekends to stay with my dad. It worked a lot better.”

Another person added, “In PA, they can choose at 14. But honestly if she is that unhappy with going, have her write her dad a letter explaining how she feels, that’s what I have my kids do if they can’t do it over the phone.”

And one other said, “Talk to her dad. At the end of the day, she is his child. He should care.”

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