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QUESTION: My Mother-in-Law Left Two of My Kids Alone While She Was Supposed to Be Watching Them: Advice?
“I need to vent before I blow a gasket!! I love my in-laws. It’s been tricky, but I love them. MIL only once every couple of months watches our kids (ss10, bd13, and bs3) when I’m at work, and my husband goes to help our landlord clean outhouses. We haven’t even had a date night in 3 years!
Well, today she watched them. Luckily it was a short day for me, so I was home right after lunch. My husband got home, asked about their day, and asked if grandma went anywhere. Ss10 jumped on it and said nope, she was here all day (9-2:3-. aka when hub left to when I got home).
Hub asked again later, so you guys had McD AND pizza for lunch, but no one left? Ss said nope again. Come to find out MIL left bs3 with bd13 (with whom we have huge issues currently and can’t trust to even feed the dog! OH and SHE has issues with anxiety when home alone or even home with ss10) and took ss10 with her to go to McD and pick the pizza up…not even have it delivered.
We’ve NEVER left bs with either of the kids as we’re not ready for that due to trust and reliability issues. Plus, bs is THREE!! So ss lied to us and MIL only took ss10 bc she didn’t want to deal with the other two. Like cool, you can’t stand my kids and can’t even watch them for 5 freakin hours!!!! I’m SO MAD!”
The following top answers have been selected by a moderator from hundreds of responses to the original question.
“I don’t think it’s as big of a deal as you’re making it. Going to pick up food is a lot different than leaving them home alone for hours.”
“She went to pick up a pizza and left the kid with a teenager… get over it. Be glad they even watch your children.”
“Everyone on here saying get over yourself and it’s not a big deal… I would totally be upset too, if I felt my 13 year old wasn’t old enough to watch my three year old and they did it regardless without asking even for 30 minutes I would have had to say something! Not her kids to decide if they are reasonable enough or if it’s appropriate. All kids are different not every 13 year old is responsible enough. I definitely think you have the right to be upset and I would try to calm down and then maybe confront her and ask her about it so you can have a dialogue about it.”
“I leave my 10yr old with my 2 yr old for an hour twice a week so I can go to the gym. It’s not a big deal. What is a big deal is that grandma did it without asking mom if that was fine. That’s the issue to me!”
“If you’re not ready for your 13-year-old to babysit and don’t think she’s responsible enough then that’s for you to decide not all these Karens. She shouldn’t have left them alone without permission. And she shouldn’t be showing favoritism over the children period. If the parent isn’t ready for the children to be left alone then they arent and that their right. If all the rest of you do that great but she just asked for some support not for you to shame her over something that is her decision with her children so stop shoving your choices onto someone.”
“So MIL gave the 13yo some responsibility and nothing bad happened. I really feel like the OP should probably question why they are “SO MAD” and thoroughly look into why they don’t trust their 13yo.”
“I was babysitting other people’s kids at 13. And frankly forgetting to feed a dog is a lot different than watching your younger sibling for half an hour while your grandma picks up food. They were clearly fine.”
“I mean if it was only a short amount of time, I don’t see an issue. I don’t leave my 2 year old with my 11 year old, but if it was an emergency, he could very well keep him alive and well for a bit lol.”
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