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QUESTION: My ex has an issue with the guys I date: Advice?
“So I don’t really ask for advice, but I am at a loss. I am a single mother of 6 kids. One of my children passed away at two weeks old. My youngest child has a different father than my older children. My older children’s dad is not around, and I do it alone for them. My youngest’s dad is very involved. We were planning on moving in together last year, but he chose to get an apartment.
He recently started talking to another girl. We are not together, but we’re supposed to work on it. I started online dating since I don’t have time to go out and meet people. I reconnected with someone from my past, and we started dating. My daughter’s dad is acting out and mad cause I don’t choose good guys. My boyfriend is a single parent as well. My ex acts like he can’t even talk to me anymore. I’m not sure what exactly I’m asking for here.
I’m just at a point, I don’t know what to do. It’s like as long as I work and take care of kids, he’s nice and converses with me. When he found out I was dating, my ex changed. He says this is not me and that he’s upset cause he waited for me to do better, and I didn’t do it for him. I have done nothing different for the last two years. I feel like as long as I’m single and he’s dating, it’s ok. I hate the tension it’s causing cause we agreed to be civil and co-parent. Sorry for the long post; I just don’t know what to do anymore.”
The following top answers have been selected by a moderator from hundreds of responses to the original question.
“Take some time to reflect on what you want , need, and what is best for the kids. You may want to see a counselor to help you sort it all out. Sometimes it helps to journal.”
“Sounds like a power play, your ex wants you to be his emotional slave. If you are in a healthy relationship with someone, you won’t need his approval for your happiness. Girl, you sound like you have been tested and you are still trying to give answers to questions he doesn’t have a right to ask. If you’re taking care of your children and they are happy, healthy, and safe. Other than the respect he has earned, he just needs to mind his own business. Just my humble opinion.”
“He just wants to have his cake and eat it, don’t waste your time with your ex. Concentrate on your kids and your new man, if he makes you happy. You got this, mama.”
“It’s none of his business unless your ex wants to be with you, it’s a control issue.”
“That is classic gaslighting and manipulative behavior. You need to step back and tell him unless it’s about the kids you’re not interested in his opinion on your relationships.”
“Ask him what his REAL problem is.”
“He sounds controlling. Why can he date but you can’t? Sounds like he wants you to wait around for him to have his fun and then come back to you. Screw that. As long as your children are taken care of and safe. You do you. He will have to get over it.”
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