A daughter writes in looking for advice. She and her son live with her mother, and she buys their own food, but her mother keeps eating said food.
A Community Member asks:
“I’m currently staying with my mother, and I pay my way and also have to buy my own food for my son and me. Constantly my mom keeps eating our food, eating my son’s bread that he has for breakfast and lunch. I’ve asked her to stop unless she gives me money towards groceries, and I’ll buy for us all, but she won’t and still continues to eat our food. Need advice, please.”
Community Advice For The Daughter Upset That Her Mom Is Eating Food She Buys For Herself and Her Son
To see what advice the Mamas Uncut Facebook community has for this mom in need, read the comments of the post embedded below.
The Community Members had a LOT to say. Suggestions ranged from: hide your food to lock it away to share it because it is your mom. You can read some of the responses below.
“I guess I feel no matter what, my momma raised me all my life and went without just so I could have more…..I would give anything to hear my mommas voice just once asking for a piece of bread….just my opinion as my momma and I have never lived apart because she was in a wheelchair since before I was born and daddy died when I was 14. Sometimes in life, we need to look at the bigger picture…..can you possibly take some of the rent money if you pay it and purchase food for all? Simply keep your belongings in your room if this is something that really bothers you.“
“Honor your mother. There many things she has done to see you become a mom too. Food n material are nothing compared to the life she brought up for. You get only 1 mom.“
“My advice is: If you’ve respectfully asked her to stop and she refuses, get a separate small fridge and a tote for dried goods, then keep the food locked in your room..if she watches your LO while you work, get/ration his food out for the day before you leave for work.”
“Some of these comments! As a mother of grown kids and young kids, I get this question. Because of personal circumstances, she is living with her mom. She and her mom made agreements. Which includes her buying her own food for her and her son. She may not be able to afford much and her mom is eating it all. That is unfair. And to the ones saying “it’s your mom she gave you all her food.” Yeah because she was the parent. And this woman is trying to feed her kid but her mom has no self-control and is eating her son’s food. Y’all act like she isn’t grateful to have her mom.“
“Sorry but feeding her child is and should be her first priority. I’d be pissed if I went to make my kids lunch the next morning for school and all the bread was gone. And I spent my last dime on my last trip to the grocery store. She never stated she didn’t appreciate her mom or that she was ungrateful. She is wanting to create boundaries that her mom is stomping all over. Stop reading between the lines.“
“You all are missing the part that her mom told her to pay for her and her son’s own food. So why is she eating the food that they buy? Instead of actually giving her logical advice you place judgment. This is the world we live in today. If her mom wants to eat the food she gets for her son then she should put money towards the groceries. Or lock food up in your room.“
“All these “it’s your mom.” Can sit down somewhere. That’s your money. Keep dry food in your room/area. & if worse comes to worse buy a mini-fridge and put it in your room. Try to move ASAP.“
Being a mother myself and having children that sneak and eat my food all the time, I can empathize, but of course, it is the opposite scenario. We teach our children to respect the privacy and belongings of others and if we as parents can’t set the example there is no way we can expect our children to do differently.
On the other hand, I do see the point that she is your mother and has given you so much more than what she takes. But as a mom who likes her snacks to last, I have learned to hide them. I have considered getting a mini-fridge myself. I get angry when I see that they have eaten something that doesn’t belong to them. I get quite annoyed and I get after them.
My advice is to get a cabinet to keep in your room and keep the things you can store in a pantry there. Just consider that if it is seen or stored with the other household food it is free game. I don’t think arguing with your mom or enforcing yourself will change anything. All you can do is find an alternative solution.
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Dawn Onye is a Certified Lactation Counselor. With this certification comes education and her own experience helping mothers and babies with breastfeeding. With her CLC, she is required to keep herself up to date on the research studies, conferences, and training related to breastfeeding. She chose this field not just because she is an advocate for the benefits of breastfeeding, but because she sincerely loves working with mothers and babies. Her mission is not to push breastfeeding on all mothers and babies, but to help all mothers reach the goals they have and to provide the expertise for them to do so. The most important thing in life is to do what is best for your family without judgment from others.
Dawn is also a wife and a mother. She has four children ranging from 12 to 19 years old. She can help many families with tips and tricks she has learned along the way. She loves to read and write. Her favorite seasons are spring and fall, although she does enjoy summers while spending time with her family. There has been no greater accomplishment in life for her than being a mother.
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