When it comes to wedding etiquette — one would believe that it was common practice to celebrate the couple above all else but one pregnant MIL stole the show!
A Reddit user is revealing this was the case at her wedding and she is asking the interwebs if she is an **shole for being upset about it….
“I (F24) was married recently to my childhood sweetheart (M24). Pretty small due to covid but it was planned well in advance so we didn’t cancel, just kept it to family, and we plan to have a party with everyone else at a later date. For some background on my husband, his parents had him pretty young (18 and 19 respectively), and he has a very close family.”
“Our wedding reception was quite intimate, but we had the traditional speeches planned: father of the bride, best man (husband’s brother), groom. It was only the day before that my mother-in-law asked if she could have the mic to say a few words when we sat down to eat, and we said that would be great, but that she would need to go before my husband.”
Aaaaand that is when the night took a turn for the worst….
“Stupidly we figured she would talk about us at our wedding so we never asked what she planned to say. Big mistake 🙂 She announced that she’s expecting a baby. She’s still pretty young and very healthy but it was a huge shock that just completely took over all night. What’s even worse for me is that I am also pregnant and we planned to announce it at the wedding, but I told my husband to just leave it out of his speech. Everything felt a bit sour for me after that, so.”
“After the wedding I didn’t speak to my mother-in-law for a few days and I got a call from her sister (a guest) to ask what was up. I explained that I felt like the attention was taken away from us without our permission (I would have said no, but still) and it was so unfair to spring that on us. Apparently I ruined my own wedding because I was obviously pissed off about the good news and that I was being ‘totally selfish’. Maybe I was, but it was my wedding day that was already ruined by a pandemic!”
But the OP’s partner wasn’t exactly up for having THAT conversation with his mother.
“Husband is on my side though clearly feels a bit uncomfortable telling his mum that, which I get as I don’t want to have this argument directly with a pregnant woman either. The rest of the family is split down the middle (my side and his) because it was such a close family event anyway and ‘we all need some happiness’. Now I’m starting to wonder if I overreacted and spoilt everything.”
One person said: “The classy move I have seen is letting the couple know about the event beforehand and then allowing the couple to decide if they want to announce it for you. I have a cousin that got engaged a couple of weeks before her brother’s wedding. They kept silent about it but obviously, immediate family including the brother knew about the engagement. So on the wedding day, the brother getting married announced the engagement of his sister and brother-in-law. It allows them to control their celebration but also host the celebration of others at their event. It looks WAY better than having the person with the announcement make it.”
While another commented: “Here’s another way to view it. An announcement at a wedding is only appropriate when it affects both families that are present. You have to remember that this is an occasion that is for not one family but two families. And by one side making an announcement of personal nature that completely leaves out the other family you make it into a celebration of one while leaving the other family as an outsider.”
What do YOU think? Be sure to comment below!
With a background in the creative and educational fields, Amelia Finefrock is freelance writer, singer-songwriter and nanny based in Chicago.
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