A friend writes in looking for advice on whether she should tell her best friend that she might have seen her boyfriend cheating on her.
A Community Member asks:
“I think I saw my best friend’s boyfriend out in a bar one night with another girl. But I am not entirely sure if it was him. It looked like him, and my best friend told me he came home late that night and she had a bad feeling. He didn’t tell her where he was or what he was doing and was being incredibly suspicious. How should I handle this? I am 75 percent sure that this guy I saw was him with another woman.“
Community Advice for the Friend That Thinks She Saw Her Best Friend’s Boyfriend Cheating
To see what advice the Mamas Uncut Facebook community has for this worried friend, read the comments of the post embedded below.
The community had a very mixed response, and you can see some of their responses below.
“Honestly, I would tell her. But, I would make sure that you’re telling her that you’re only 75% sure that you thought it was him! I mean I would want to know if someone saw my SO out with someone else even if they weren’t completely sure if it was him or not.“
“I’m gonna agree with the first comment I would say what you saw but be sure to be clear you’re not 100%. If they have suspicions already then their gut is telling them something and I bet you did see him.”
“I realize you want to protect your bestie but you need to leave it alone & stay out of it until you have undeniable proof (videos, pics, etc) that it was him with this other woman.“
“You need to make absolutely sure it was him before you do or say anything, it really might not have been him. It could cause a lot of damage to nothing if you are mistaken. If you do say something to her, tell her you aren’t completely sure it was him.”
“Just think vice versa. If your friend saw your man with another woman as your best friend you would hope someone reports this to you. If there’s the slightest chance that he’s cheating on her, you wouldn’t want your best friend to be with a man like that.”
“I would tell her exactly what you just posted. Tell her not to freak out because you are not 100% sure. Maybe she needs to start watching carefully what he is up to.”
“Honestly, I wouldn’t get involved! You THINK it was him is a whole lot different than It was DEFINITELY him! She needs to be the one to catch him in the act! She can assume he is being unfaithful but she needs to be the one to find out! Getting involved is like opening a can of worms.”
I am very torn on this. Because you aren’t completely sure, it seems like you shouldn’t start a fire. But then again… by telling her what you think you saw, she can address it with her boyfriend. The community group had a very mixed response, and I echo their feelings. I think either decision will be very hard because neither has a good outcome.
You have to really weigh your options. I think that either way it will eventually come out. You could approach him and tell him to tell her or you will. If you are really sure he was there. If you really can’t be sure, you would hate to start something.
The comments are so mixed, and both sides have valid points. Sadly, none of us can make that decision for you. I hope that whatever you choose, it works well for you and for your friend.
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Dawn Onye is a Certified Lactation Counselor. With this certification comes education and her own experience helping mothers and babies with breastfeeding. With her CLC, she is required to keep herself up to date on the research studies, conferences, and training related to breastfeeding. She chose this field not just because she is an advocate for the benefits of breastfeeding, but because she sincerely loves working with mothers and babies. Her mission is not to push breastfeeding on all mothers and babies, but to help all mothers reach the goals they have and to provide the expertise for them to do so. The most important thing in life is to do what is best for your family without judgment from others.
Dawn is also a wife and a mother. She has four children ranging from 12 to 19 years old. She can help many families with tips and tricks she has learned along the way. She loves to read and write. Her favorite seasons are spring and fall, although she does enjoy summers while spending time with her family. There has been no greater accomplishment in life for her than being a mother.
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