My 11-Year-Old Son Really Wants to Live With My Mom, Should I Let Him?

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QUESTION: Should I let my son move in with my mom?

“My son wants to move in with my mom for a school year. I’m not sure if I should or if it would be what is best for him. He’s 11, and I live in Tennessee. State law is a child can choose whom to live with at age 13. I don’t want him hating me if I say no, but I find it hard to let him go after 11 years.

My mom wasn’t there for me growing up, and I am worried about if she will be for him. She wants him to move in too. They didn’t plot behind my back or anything. I don’t know what will happen once he goes, nor will I have the money to drive an hour and a half to get him for weekends and such. I don’t want to be a bad mom.”

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My 11-Year-Old Son Really Wants to Live With My Mom, Should I Let Him?

Community Answers

The following top answers have been selected by a moderator from hundreds of responses to the original question.

“If you are in a bad position, I can see your mom wanting to help since she failed you. If they just want him to go with no reason behind it, no. You are the parent, he’s your responsibility. A whole year? I can barely make it a day of work. Let alone a full school year. What is the real reason behind this?”

“I would say no honestly because he’s too young. You don’t know if she’ll take off with him. Let him go for a little bit in the summer and have him come back during the school year.”

“Not letting your child go live with their grandmother does not make you a bad mom. He is a child, he barely knows what he wants. You know how many times as a teen I told my mom I wanted to move out? Also, if your Mom was toxic with you, more than likely she will be with him.”

“I would not. I sent my son home to visit for 2 weeks. I trusted my mom. She stole him. She filed for guardianship. Saying I abandoned him. Lied, lied to cps, lied to my family, lied to me, and my son. He hated me until I got him back, it took a long time. Still 1 year later, he is still upset and so am I.

He was completely brainwashed by her. She brainwashed my older son who is in college and he truly believes her. I haven’t spoken to my parents or family in over 1 year and I never will again. Things are still coming out, what she said and did and did not do. I had to fight, argue, to even see him for 1 hour every other week !! When we did go to court the judge tore my mother and father a new one. Do NOT send him.”

“It’s okay for children to be upset. They will get over it. Speaking from experience.”

“He’s too young just yet. My grandkids lived with me for a while because of schools, but they were older.”

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