My Spouse Works With Someone That I Feel Uncomfortable With: Advice?

A mom writes in asking for advice because her spouse’s co-worker makes her uncomfortable because of how close they seem to be. Now she’s looking for advice on how to bring up and handle the unique situation.

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A member of the community asks:

“My [spouse] has a woman that he works with. They are really close and almost too close for my comfort. This didn’t become uncomfortable for me until we all went to a get-together, and she was ignoring her family to follow my significant other around EVERYwhere he went. I shrugged it off, telling myself that he is probably the only one that she is comfortable with out of all the other coworkers.

Then it started getting weird as she was racing in front of me to get next to him, and I just laughed because I started seeing what was going on. My significant other started getting nervous and even sweating. I told him it’s fine and I’m not worried about it. Well, when we were getting our family together to head home she asked for a ride to her house. She lived around the corner, and when my SO told her no (because we couldn’t fit her and her family in the same car as our family) she told him that her husband would walk with their kids and she can just ride with us?

He again told her no and she almost threw a fit, and came up to me telling me she really wanted us to come over and asked about four times getting the same answer out of me, ‘We can do it another weekend, but it’s late, and the kids need to get home.’ Four times!

She bought my SO an extravagant gift, and on the card that she gave him, she didn’t include our family and just made the card out to him. There have been other things, but these are the most recent events. Should I have a conversation with her? I’ve tried letting the earlier events go, but it won’t stop, and it’s becoming frustrating. My SO thinks I’m overreacting about the card, but isn’t it just respectful to acknowledge the entire family on the card? And after the way she acted at the get-together, it made the unmentioned family that we have more frustrating. Am I overreacting?”

– Mamas Uncut Community Member

Community Advice for This Mom Who Is Uncomfortable With Her Spouse’s Co-Worker

To see what advice the Mamas Uncut Facebook community has for this mom in need, read the comments of the post embedded below.

Advice Summary

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One commenter wrote, “Sounds like she’s obsessed with your husband. I don’t think your husband is doing anything wrong but he needs to put her in her place. But I really don’t think she would take any notice of it. Time to distance hubby and family away from her out of work hours.”

And another person shared, “I wouldn’t automatically assume your husband instigated this. Workplace harassment happens to men too. They just tend to hide the effects of it until it’s way way too late. She may just be obsessed and he is trying to keep some decorum by not calling her out at work or at work functions. Does not mean he is inviting or wanting said attention. I would definitely have a talk with the woman about the inappropriate nature of her interactions with him. You have every right to try and protect your marriage and to help your husband rid himself of a handsy coworker. Some women just do not understand boundaries.”

And one other person added, “Your husband doesn’t seem interested, he seems to be telling her no at every pass. Talk to him about the situation and get his take on it, he might be getting constant unwanted attention at work. He needs to report her.”

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