Parents of more than one child know that the second time around can bring up a lot of mixed emotions. There’s excitement about having another baby mixed with anxiousness about how your first born will react. There’s joy about expanding your family mixed with nervousness about how you’ll juggle everything. There’s pure love for your brand-new baby mixed with the feeling that they’ll never get the same amount of attention as your first born. This viral Facebook letter about a mom’s second baby sums up all of those emotions and more.
In a recent Facebook post that has since gone viral, second-time mom Kendra Barnes shares exactly how it feels to be a mom-of-two. The post really resonated with parents and has been shared more than 45,000 times.
The post begins, “You were second. Not in my heart, but one did come before you in time. Yes, with you, it was different. There was no gender reveal party. No elaborate showers. We didn’t read all the books or check the apps every week to see what vegetable you measured up against.”
Kendra goes on to list the many things her second child has already helped her learned and concludes:
“But more than anything, my love, you taught me that a heart is absolutely limitless in size, and that love is the antidote to fear.
So, it’s true. You didn’t make me a mother.
– Kendra Barnes
But you sure made me a better one.”
Kendra, who lives in Louisville, Kentucky with her family, shared with Good Morning America that she wrote the post after a long night trying to get both kids to sleep. “It had been a busy day, and the chaos that is two kids under two had kind of taken over that night. Bedtime was rushed and I was feeling guilty for not having more time and attention to give – sometimes things just have to get done and I don’t have as much time to soak it all up as I did when there was just one.”
She also revealed that with her first child she had postpartum anxiety and depression and spent much of time focused on details, like taking pictures and updating baby books. With her second, she was less focused on those details and able to really focus on the things that matter.
“So many moms are feeling defeated before they even start their day simply because there’s no way anyone can really do it all.,” she told GMA. “My hope is that sharing my stories will make us all feel less alone.”
It certainly made us feel left alone! Thank you for the beautiful letter, Kendra!
What do you think of Kendra’s viral Facebook letter to her second baby? Sound off in the comments!
When I’m not hanging out with my three-year-old and husband in Brooklyn, I’m busy writing stories for Mamas Uncut and managing PR + Marketing for Magnolia Bakery, based in New York City. On weekends, you can usually find me at a local park or playground pushing my daughter on the swings, “researching” the best almond croissants in Park Slope or launching into impromptu family dance parties at home, the sidewalk or, every once in awhile, a restaurant bathroom. I’m still trying to master the whole parenting thing, but I have learned that copious amounts of coffee, humor and humility are involved on a daily basis.