would you choose not to marry someone if he didn't have much money?

Would You Choose Not to Marry Someone Because He Didn’t Have Much Money?

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QUESTION: Would you marry someone that had no money?

“Alright, ladies, here is a tricky one. Let’s say you start dating someone, you like them and want to see it out, and it could be fantastic. You’ve talked about marriage. And kids. Etc. Then you find out after a month that he has no money, nothing in savings, a car that needs to be replaced, and he lives with his mom. Let’s just say you’re completely self-sufficient, so you didn’t really need his money anyways. But would you marry someone who has nothing, literally, and watch them build and push them to?

Or tell them you can’t marry them until they are able to support you and build a life together for you and your kids. Maybe I needed to add he’s 33, I’m 29, I have two kids of my own, and I just got out of a relationship and trying to settle down and start a family and a life and was hoping for the relief of someone else in my life. No bashing, please, this is simply a question to see how everybody feels.”

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Community Answers

The following top answers have been selected by a moderator from hundreds of responses to the original question.

“Listen ladies a good man has nothing to do with what they have or how much money they make. It’s what they are willing to do. I know tons of men with good jobs still know nothing about saving and have nothing to show for it but video games and a sad pathetic life. Choose the man not what they have. Men tend to blossom for the good life with a good women.”

“Everyone is different. We grow and mature at different ages. I was 26 and still living at home, I had a full-time job and a car. My boyfriend now husband never once judged me for the choice I made. He understands that I need the extra support of being at home. I was in a bad relationship and I needed to be in a safe place aka my parents’ house. You barely know him!”

“Don’t settle just because you don’t want to be alone. Stick to your guns, you need a partner, not another person to raise. Get someone on the same level as you.”

“I swear I’m the best person to answer your question….I met my now husband when he was 32 and I was 24. I had a 2 year old and a 3 month old and was not with the father of my kids since before my 3 month old was born. He had no kids and lived with his parents – or they lived with him….he was in school and unemployed….his car was broke down but we both fell in love with each other…..but fast track 25 years later and we’ve since had a son together who’s 23. We put two through university and the youngest is on his way. You need to learn that it doesn’t matter what you have or don’t have. If you love each other and can keep that going..,then you have something that money cannot buy. Block out all the Debbie downers and make it work if you love him.”

“If he is jobless at the moment but trying his best to find a good job then give him a chance. There’s no money that a hardworking man can’t have. Just give it a year before you decide for marriage, i believed within that span he can finally land a job right? As long as you know he is hardworking then go!”

“Honestly, I’d wait and see if he has motivation to fix those aspects. If he can’t get his act together while you’re dating, in my mind theres no way being married will motivate him anymore. You get married you’re essentially just adding another child that you need to provide and take care of. Now, if he has a legitimate reason for any of this, depending on the reason that’s a totally different story. But again, in my mind the only things that would be a legitimate reason would be, medical problems preventing him from working, saving money, etc.”

“You’re supposed to build with someone. It’s kind of shallow to not want to be with someone just because they don’t have money. Life happens sometimes.”

“Keep looking. No motivation. You will end up supporting him. You will end up hating your situation.”

“Be very very careful. The fact that you obviously have doubts by asking for advice says a lot – he may be a good guy but I sadly don’t think he’s what you’re looking for, trust your gut instinct, not your heart.”

“All that matters is if you feel loved.”

“I would give it a chance to see if I can motivate him.”

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