One user is asking Reddit if they are the a****** for calling their dad after their mom flew off the handle over an awkward interaction involving the mom’s boyfriend.
“My (17f) parents (35 f/m) had me young and never married, I usually spend 1 week with my dad and 1 with my mom since they live pretty close and are friendly towards the other,” the Original Poster (OP) began.
“My dad is single now, but my mom has been dating Jerry (38M) for the past 8 years, he’s amazing not only towards my mom but with me too, he and my dad are friends and I know I can trust them both, my problem is my mom who never had any issue letting me know that I ruined her life. Sometimes she’s an amazing mom, sometimes she’s just not and this was one of those times.”
“The issue happened last Friday, while I was [in] the shower I felt a small lump on the right side of one of my breasts. I freaked out and thought that if I ignored it it would just disappear, I kept showering and when I went out I got half-dressed, I started to inspection myself again and I had the door in front of me, out of nowhere Jerry opens the door and we both react, I cover myself and he turns around, starts to say sorry, closes the door and leave. I felt bad of course, but I know that Jerry didn’t do it with ill intention since the shower wasn’t running and I forgot to lock the door.”
“A few hours later Jerry comes into my room and starts to apologize to me, he says that since he saw my door closed he thought I was in my room and that he was in an emergency to get into the bathroom, but that he understood that things will inevitably be weird between us for a while and that it’s best for us to tell my mom. I ask him to please don’t tell her but he says that if we keep it a secret it won’t look good and that my mom has to know, that he’ll give me all the space I want, but we can’t and shouldn’t keep this between us.”
“I agreed and we both went down and tell my mom, she starts to berate me for ‘flashing” to Jerry, that she always knew I wanted her man and starts to call me names, Jerry tries to explain to her that it wasn’t like that and that it was him who [accidentally] opened the door, my mom says that he doesn’t need to defend me and she says that I have to go to my room without dinner for being a s****.”
“I did [go] to my room, but I called my dad to pick me up and explained what happened and that I didn’t felt comfortable here, not for Jerry but for my mom, he then tells me to pick more stuff than usual and that he’ll be here in no time. After then minutes I go downstairs and my mom and dad are fighting and he’s telling her that I won’t be back until she apologizes to me, my mom called me an AH for ‘letting my dad know our personal business’ and for ‘lying to him,’ the next day she called me angry because Jerry dumped her for her reaction.”
One user said: “NTA. Your mom is a mean woman, and you never have to keep it a secret when somebody is treating you poorly. You do not owe her immediate forgiveness, if at all. Do not let her cut you down or bully you. She sounds like she has some toxic issues that she needs to work out on her own, without you around as her punching bag.”
“Also, give your dad a high five. He sounds awesome and has your best interests at heart,” the commenter concluded.
While another commented: “The whole bathroom incident may feel weird and awkward, but it’s almost inevitable when you live with other people. I’ve seen virtually every (same-sex, nonsexual) roommate I’ve ever had naked at one point or another. It just happens. The mom is TA here. She’s jealous and at least a bit crazy. She threw away her relationship with Jerry over something stupid and is throwing away her relationship with her daughter too. NTA OP.”
With a background in the creative and educational fields, Amelia Finefrock is freelance writer, singer-songwriter and nanny based in Chicago.
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