Apologizing like a man may bring to mind a mature apology where the offender owns up to his mistakes and lets you know how sorry he is for his transgressions. Unfortunately, people have many, many examples of men offering up the classic non-apology because men, apparently, just can’t apologize.
Now, it can be very hard to humbly take responsibility for your mistakes, but that doesn’t excuse the below examples of poor apologies, which we’ve all heard at one time or another. Here are a few of our favorite so-bad-they’re-good apologies.
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Oh, how very helpful.
Crazy idea – you could actually apologize?!
Your boyfriend was just hoping you’d get over it.
Spoiler alert: You didn’t.
Obviously this is not my fault.
Would a snack help?
This isn’t my fault.
You’re just too emotional.
What does that even mean?
I can’t possibly do something I know nothing about.
Ugh, let’s just get beyond this point.
Um, we can’t because you haven’t said you’re sorry.
Ah, the famous non-apology.
Always a classic.
Yeah, but I have reasons for behaving so badly.
It’s all a game of chicken.
Who will apologize first?!
Maybe she won’t remember what happened?
Just going to exit this situation for a bit.
The old pretending nothing happened move.
Let’s just all move on, ok?
He’ll get to you in the end.
Hard to hide a smile in a bear hug.
You think I wasn’t calm before – just you wait.
People apologize in many different ways. Of course, there are men – and women – that can take the heat and more easily own up to their mistakes. Sometimes the simplest option is the best one. When in doubt, go with the classic “I’m sorry.” It should do just the trick.
When I’m not hanging out with my three-year-old and husband in Brooklyn, I’m busy writing stories for Mamas Uncut and managing PR + Marketing for Magnolia Bakery, based in New York City. On weekends, you can usually find me at a local park or playground pushing my daughter on the swings, “researching” the best almond croissants in Park Slope or launching into impromptu family dance parties at home, the sidewalk or, every once in awhile, a restaurant bathroom. I’m still trying to master the whole parenting thing, but I have learned that copious amounts of coffee, humor and humility are involved on a daily basis.