100 Hilarious Birthday Jokes to Share with Friends and Loved Ones

Andrew Kreeger

2 years ago

Are you at a loss for what to send a friend on their birthday? Birthday jokes are just the thing to spread some joy. You can sign them into greeting cards, use them as social media captions, throw them in emails, or tell them for fun. Birthday jokes poke fun at all manner of things, from getting older to eating cake. We decided to round up the best 100 birthday jokes out there for you to put to good use. Many on this list are appropriate for kids but if you are specifically looking for jokes for kids, click here.

Be the life of the birthday party by sharing some of these jokes that commemorate another trip around the sun. Discover the best to tell below.

Classic Birthday Jokes

What did one plate say to the other on its birthday? “Dinner’s on me!”
What game do rabbits play at their birthday parties? Musical hares.
Why did the kid get soap for his birthday? Because it was a soap-rise party.
What’s the left side of the birthday cake? The one that’s not yet eaten.

Lively Birthday Jokes

On my 18th birthday, my grandmother shared some wisdom: “Remember these two words that will open many doors throughout your life: Push and pull.”
What’s one thing you’re guaranteed to get on your birthday? A year older.
What did the frog drink to wash down his birthday cake? Diet croak.
Why did the math book have such a great birthday? It took the day off from thinking about all its problems.

Surprising Birthday Jokes

What did the pirate say at his 80th birthday party? Aye matey!
Why does everyone in my family keep reminding me how old I am? Because age is a relative thing.
What does a house wear to its birthday party? Address.
Why does a joke become a dad joke on its 18th birthday? Because that’s when it’s fully grown.

Charming Birthday Jokes

What did the cake say to the birthday girl? “You want a piece of me?”
What’s the difference between pie and birthday cake? πr², cakes are round.
What do they eat on birthdays in heaven? Angel food cake.
What do cats eat on their birthday? Mice cream cake.

Endearing Birthday Jokes

What do you say to a pickle who wasn’t invited to the birthday party? Dill with it.
What’s worse than finding a bug in your birthday cake? Finding half a bug.
What do math teachers prefer to birthday cake? Pi.
Why does popcorn always have great birthday parties? Because they’re always popping.

Delightful Birthday Jokes

How does a cat make a birthday cake? From scratch.
Why can’t you give Elsa a balloon on her birthday? She’d let it go.
What’s the best thing to put into a birthday cake? Your teeth.
How do you organize a birthday party in space? You planet carefully.

Stellar Birthday Jokes

What did the lawyer drink on her birthday? Subpoena colada.
When do you put a birthday cake in the freezer? When you’re ready to ice it.
Why don’t I want to celebrate my birthday party on the moon? That place has no atmosphere.
What kind of cake do you eat when it’s your birthday, but you’re tired? Coffee cake.

Terrific Birthday Jokes

Why didn’t the pony sing happy birthday? It was a little hoarse.
What kind of jewelry did the rabbit wear for its birthday party? 14 carrot gold.
How did a duck buy birthday presents? He put them on his bill.
Why couldn’t I have my birthday party at the library? It was already booked up.

Lasting Birthday Jokes

What did one candle say to the other after the raging birthday party? “I’m feeling rather burned out.”
What did the mommy rose say to the baby rose on his birthday? “Happy birthday, bud!”
What do you call a noodle pretending it’s his birthday? An impasta.
I dread my birthday, but my friends tell me to cheer up because it’s better than falling into a water-filled hole. I know they mean well.

Engaging Birthday Jokes

What did the kid tell a classmate who lied about his birthday being in the summertime? Julyed.
What did one cheese say to the other on its birthday? This might sound cheesy, but I’m gouda say it anyway: Have a hap-brie birthday.
What did the buffalo say when his son left the birthday party? Bison.
Why do golfers take an extra pair of socks on their birthdays? In case they get a hole in one!

Grand Birthday Jokes

What did the birthday card say to the stamp on its envelope? Stick with me — we’re going places.
What do they call you when you attend a ghost’s birthday? The life of the party.
Two birthday cupcakes were sitting in an oven. One turned to the other and said, “Hey, it’s hot in here.”
How moving was the message in the birthday card? Even the cake was in tiers.

Enchanting Birthday Jokes

How do you know if a donut is bored at a birthday party? It looks glazed over.
What song do you sing at a snowman’s birthday party? Freeze a jolly good fellow.
What did the cake say to the ice cream? “I think you’re cool.”
What did one lion say to the other on its birthday? “It’s roar birthday, let’s party!”

LOL Birthday Jokes

Why did the birthday girl hit her cake with a hammer? Because it was pound cake.
Why did the student eat his homework on his birthday? Because the teacher said it was a piece of cake.
What did the ocean say on its birthday? Nothing — it just waved.
Did you hear about the risk behind birthdays? Yeah, too many can kill you.

Warm Birthday Jokes

Why were there balloons in the bathroom? For the birthday potty.
Why do kids always forget their past birthday parties? Because they’re so focused on the present.
Did you hear about the sale on birthday candles? It’s a blowout.
How was the birthday party for the fish? It went swimmingly.

Silly Birthday Jokes

Why did the bakery get robbed? Robbers heard the cakes were rich.
What birthday present is guaranteed to make anyone’s face light up? A light bulb.
Why did people take off their coats at the birthday party? Because everyone kept toasting.
What kind of cake do you eat if your birthday’s on Halloween? I scream cake.

Droll Birthday Jokes

Did Moby Dick enjoy his birthday? Oh yes — he had a whale of a time.
What did one candle say to the other? “Birthdays just burn me up.”
Why don’t kangaroos don’t like birthdays? They only get to celebrate them in leap years.
What does every birthday end with? The letter Y.

Entertaining Birthday Jokes

What’s the best way to remember your wife’s birthday? Forget it once.
Why does the mushroom always get invited to birthday parties? He’s a fun guy.
What did the teddy bear say when asked if it wanted a second piece of birthday cake? “No, thank you, I’m stuffed.”
What does a witch do on her birthday? Spellebrate.

Amazing Birthday Jokes

When is a birthday cake like a golf ball? When you slice it.
What did the elephant want for his birthday? A trunk full of presents.
Why did the birthday cake go to the doctor? Because it was feeling crumby.
What did the bald man say when he got a comb for a birthday present? “Thanks — I’ll never part with it.”

Terrific Birthday Jokes

What can you do if you get heartburn from birthday cake? Take off the candles before you eat it next time.
What do you sing to a cow on its birthday? Happy birthday to moo!
Why do candles love birthdays? They like to get lit.
What’s a bee’s favorite day of the year? Its bee-day.

Memorable Birthday Jokes

What happens when thieves crash a birthday party? They take the cake.
What kind of music do balloons fear? Pop tunes.
Did you hear what happened at the tree’s birthday party? Everyone got totally sappy.
What does an oyster do on its birthday? Shellebrate.

Random Birthday Jokes

How do you know if a birthday cake is sad? Look for the tiers.
How is a birthday cake like baseball? Both need batters.
Why do we put candles on top of birthday cakes? Because it doesn’t work to put them on the bottom.
What will you do if no one comes to your birthday party? You’ll have your cake and eat it, too.

Exciting Birthday Jokes

What famous people were born on your birthday? None — they were all just babies!
Where can you go to study birthday treats? Sundae school.
What do you call a birthday bash you throw for a dog? A ball.
What do you say to a bunny on its birthday? Hoppy birthday to you.

Thrilling Birthday Jokes

What goes up but never comes down? Your age.
Why couldn’t the knot go to the birthday party? It was all tied up.
What kind of birthday cake is hard as a rock? Marble cake.
What kind of candle burns longer than others? None, silly — they all burn shorter.

Witty Birthday Jokes

Why didn’t anyone say happy birthday to the owl? Because it didn’t give a hoot.
Did you know that birthdays are good for your health? It’s a scientific fact: People who have more birthdays live longer.
Where do you buy a birthday present for a cat? From a cat-alogue.
What did the birthday balloon say to the safety pin? “Hey, buster.”

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Our Favorite Birthday Jokes

What kind of birthday cakes do birds always pick? Chocolate chirp.
What did the moose say to his friend on his birthday? So, I herd it’s your birthday…
Did you hear about the tree’s birthday celebration? It was really sappy.
Why did the girl hit the birthday cake with a hammer? She thought it was a pound cake.

There you go! We hope you got a real kick out of these birthday jokes. Share them far and wide. If you are looking for even more fun, check out our favorite “what do you call” jokes below.

Kicking Things Off With the Classic What Do You Call Jokes

What do you call a boomerang that doesn’t come back? A stick.
What do you call a bagel that can fly? A plain bagel.
What do you call a fake noodle? An im-pasta!

Animal Jokes (Excellent for Kids)

What do you call an alligator wearing a vest? An investigator.
What do you call an egg laid by an evil chicken? A deviled egg.
What do you call a dinosaur with a big vocabulary? A thesaurus.

More Animal Jokes

What do you call a bear that never wants to grow up? Peter Pan-da!
What do you call an owl that’s a magician? Whodini.
What do you call a row of rabbits hopping away? A receding hare line!

Even More Animal Jokes

What do you call a camel with no humps? Humphrey.
What do you call a bee that’s having a bad hair day? A frisbee.
What do you call a rabbit that is really cool? A hip hopper.

Animal What Do Call Jokes Continued

What do you call a pile of cats? A meowtain.
What do you call a meditating wolf? Aware wolf!
What do you call an illegally parked frog? Toad!

Even More, What Do You Call Jokes About Animals

What do you call a bear in the rain? A drizzly bear.
What do you call a horse that likes arts and crafts? A hobby horse.
What do you call a dog that’s freezing? A chili dog.

Yes, We’ve Got Even More Animal Jokes!

What do you call a deer that only costs a dollar? A buck.
What do you call a pony with a sore throat? A little horse.
What do you call an aardvark that is three feet long? A yardvark.

You Guessed It, More Animal What Do You Call Jokes

What do you call a snail aboard a ship? A snailor.
What do you call a dancing lamb? A baaaaaah-llerina!
What do you call a bear with no socks? Barefoot.

We’re Keeping Them Coming

What do you call two octopuses that look exactly the same? Itenticle.
What do you call a crab that plays baseball? A pinch hitter.
What do you call a fish with no eyes? Fsh.

Now for the Cheesiest What Do You Call Jokes

What do you call a man with a toilet on his head? John.
What do you call a sad coffee? Depresso.
What do you call a priest that becomes an attorney? Father-in-Law.

More Cheesy Goodness

What do you call a dead pine tree? A nevergreen.
What do you call a pencil that is broken? Pointless.
What do you call two birds in love? Tweethearts!

Another Helping of Cheesy What Do You Call Jokes

What do you call the lights on Noah’s Ark? Floodlights.
What do you call a snobby criminal walking down the steps? A condescending con descending!
What do you call a dollar frozen in a block of ice? Cold hard cash.

Corny What Do You Call Jokes

What do you call a farm that grows bad jokes? Corny.
What did the alien say to the garden? Take me to your weeder.
What do you call a skeleton who went out in freezing temperatures? A numb skull.

More of the Corniest What Do You Call Jokes

What do you call fruit playing the guitar? A jam session.
What do you call the shoes that all spies wear? Sneakers.
What do you call something you can serve, but never eat? A volleyball.

What Do You Call Jokes That Will Make You Want to Facepalm

What do you call someone who draws funny pictures of cars? A car-toonist.
What do you call a magician on a plane? A flying sorcerer.
What do you call a cute door? Adorable.

Kids Love These What Do You Call Jokes

What do you call milk that gets anything it wants? Spoiled milk.
What do you call a dog magician? A labracadabrador.
What do you call a funny mountain? Hill-arious.

Tell Your Kids These Jokes

What do you call a cheese that doesn’t belong to you? Nacho cheese!
What do you call a cow that plays a musical instrument? A moosician.
What do you call shorts that clouds wear? Thunderwear.

Even More What Do You Call Jokes That Kiddos Love

What do you call a baby polar bear? An ice cub.
What do you call a witch that lives at the beach? A sand witch.
What do you call a key that opens the door on Thanksgiving? A turkey.

Make Those Kids Giggle With These Jokes

What do you call a sleeping dinosaur? A dinosnore.
What do you call a Christmas tree that knows karate? Spruce Lee.
What does a triangle call a circle? Pointless.

Beloved What Do You Call Jokes

What do you call someone who cleans the bottom of the ocean? A mer-maid.
What do you call something that goes up when the rain comes down? An umbrella.
What do you call a doctor who fixes websites? A URL-ologist.

What Do You Call Jokes That Never Get Old

What do you call a bagel that can fly? A plain bagel.
What do you call a factory that manufactures products that are just OK? A satisfactory.
What do you call a person with a briefcase in a tree? Branch manager.

Unbeatable What Do You Call Jokes

What do you call a policeman in bed? An undercover cop.
What do you call a soldier who survived mustard gas and pepper spray? A seasoned veteran.
What do you call a boomerang that doesn’t come back? A stick.

Our Favorite What Do You Call Jokes

What do you call blackbirds that stick together? Vel-crows.
What do you call the daughter of a hamburger? Patty.
What do you call a tiny mother? A minimum!

More of the Best What Do You Call Jokes

What do you call someone that saw an iPhone being stolen? An iWitness.
What do you call someone who never passes gas in public? A private tutor.
What do you call it when a prisoner takes his own mugshot? A cellfie.

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The Best of the Best What Do You Call Jokes

What do you call a joke without a punchline? Silence.
What do you call a horse that can’t lose a race? A sherbet.
What do you call the security guards outside the Samsung factory? The Guardians of the Galaxy.

There you go! We hope you found these what do you call jokes to be as enjoyable as we did. Now, go share these babies far and wide. If you would like to read even more hilarious jokes stay with us. We’ve gathered over 100 knock knock jokes for kids for you to enjoy!