A mom writes in asking for advice about her teenage daughter. She says her 13-year-old came out as bisexual. This mom says she is struggling to balance accepting her daughter’s bisexuality and her religious views. She wants to support her daughter but is having a hard time doing so due to her religion. How can she support her daughter, ideally while also upholding her own beliefs?
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A member of the community asks:
“My daughter came out as bi and I want to support her even though it’s against my religion: Advice?
I am very religious and kind of set in my ways … but my 13-year-old daughter has come out saying she’s bisexual and I want to support her, but I’m having a hard time …. do you have any advice to balance the two without making her feel like I’m not supporting her?”
Community Advice for This Mom Who Wants to Support Her Bisexual Daughter Even Though It Goes Against Her Religious Beliefs
To see what advice the Mamas Uncut Facebook community has for this mom in need, read the comments of the post embedded below.
The community offered this mom in need a lot of great advice. Read some of their responses below.
“If your religion tells you that you can’t love your daughter for who she truly is, then you need to find a new religion.”
“You can absolutely do both. Since you are religious try to remember God loves everyone, he is the final say and the only one to judge. God will love your child regardless. I applaud you for wanting to support your child and stick to your faith. It is okay to do both. Love her as you always have, take solace in the fact you have a good relationship with her that she came out to you and she trusted you instead of hiding it…
… Whatever you’re doing is working. She will still have heartbreak all the same. Don’t make a big deal of it if/when she brings home someone of the same gender treat them same you would anyone else. ‘Let he who is without sin be the first to cast the stone.'”
“You loved and supported her yesterday, why would that change today? She is your child and now more than ever needs your love. I would re-evaluate the religious aspect. Her choices are between her and god.”
“Love the sinner, hate the sin. That’s too simple I know. Because she is going to say that what you consider the sin is part of who she is. Just remember it’s not your place to judge. We should love everyone. Not those that live up to our ideals. She is the same person you have always known. Now you just know her better. Love her, support her. I’m sure you can find scripture to support what you choose to do either way.”
“My daughter came out in the last year and will be 14 in August. First of all, I am a mother. The fact that my daughter trusts me enough to confide in me to begin with lets me know that I’m doing something right! SHE CAME TO ME! Not her friends or acquaintances! ME! That means she has that trust in me to know that I will be there for her no matter what and that my love will NEVER stop!…
… We as parents can have religion but have to know that our kids may not follow our paths and that’s okay. We want them to be able to make their own decisions with understanding. Life is hard enough without casting judgment on our own children!! Just remember when your child comes to you, you have that choice in your words and actions and what you say CAN affect whether she comes to you again!!”
“You can still have your religion; you don’t have to believe in EVERYTHING it says… Just support her and love her the same way as before. Really NOT hard. Don’t allow it to become her problem.”
“Religion has nothing to do with accepting someone for who they are. If it does then religion is the problem, love your daughter for who she is right now because in a year she will be even different and probably throw another curveball at you that may or may not go against your religion once again.”
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