A mom writes in asking for advice about her child’s father’s sister. She says that the father of her unborn child “wants nothing to do with the child.” However, the child’s father’s sister learned through a mutual friend that this mom is expecting what is to be her niece. This aunt wants to be involved in the mom and child’s life, even though her brother (the child’s father) is not. The mom is unsure if this is wise, especially given that she has not met this woman. She still also holds a torch for the child’s father and worries involving his sister may be complicated emotionally.
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A member of the community asks:
“Should I let my child’s father’s sister in my life?”
“The father of my unborn child wants nothing to do with the child. His sister recently found out from a friend that I was pregnant, and now she wants to be involved. I don’t know if I should involve her in its life. (I’ve never met her before.) Plus I still have a feeling for the father.”
Community Advice for This Mom Who Is Unsure if She Should Let Her Child’s Aunt Be Involved in Their Lives Because the Father Is Not
To see what advice the Mamas Uncut Facebook community has for this mom in need, read the comments of the post embedded below.
The community offered this mom in need a lot of great advice. Read some of their responses below.
“Okay so if this baby is the niece or nephew of her yes. We break up with boyfriends/girlfriends. But that baby will always have the same auntie. And it takes a village!!!! The more love that baby has the better off it will be!”
“I would for sure… as long as she isn’t a harm to the baby or you. The more people in that baby’s life to love it the better!!”
“What does she have to do with you and him? Why would you deny your child a (possibly) amazing aunt because you’re bitter at baby daddy? F him! If his family wants to be there, and they’re generally good people who can be trusted, then let them. They’re your child’s family too.”
“My niece’s mother and I never met until she jumped on a plane with my niece to bring her to meet my family despite my deadbeat brother being the father. He has absolutely nothing to do with my niece but my whole family — my mum, dad, sister, younger brother, myself, and my son — all play an active role in my niece’s life even though she lives on the other side of Australia. My brother’s loss, because my niece is absolutely perfect in every way. As a family, we want nothing but to know our family and have a bond with her and her mother is amazing for allowing us to.”
“Don’t deny your child the opportunity of knowing an awesome aunty. If she does the wrong thing by you, fair enough. But it’s not her fault you are in this situation. Keep an open mind, you have no reason not to.”
His actions don’t define her. My first and only time becoming an aunty last year was heartbreaking because the mother kept her from everyone else due to her own problems and issues with my brother. Give her a chance…
… From the other side, I would love my son’s aunt and uncle to be a part of his life, but they’ve followed their brother’s footsteps and my son has no idea who they are, not for lack of trying. It can only go one of two ways but if she’s willing to contact you and wants to be in your child’s life as their aunty, let her. It doesn’t mean you have to become close friends or anything, just be kind. She isn’t her brother and she deserves a chance.”
“Ok, so here’s my 2 cents… You say you have never met the sister before… make sure her intentions are good. Make sure you get to know her. I’m not saying she’s crazy or anything but the world has gone extremely nuts. Just be careful. She could become a great asset to your child’s life. However, just be careful… do a little research before allowing her to be alone with your child.”
“Yes, my son’s father isn’t in my son’s life but his family is more active in his life than my own! I am forever grateful for them and my son adores his aunt and nana to the fullest. Go with your intuition I’m sure they have nothing but good intentions!”
“Give her a chance! Meet her, get to know her, and see how you feel about it. It’s your child’s blood aunt and it would be good for your child to know his or her other side of the family even if it isn’t dad. The more support and love for your child would be something he or she deserves.”
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