A dad wondered if he was making the right decision if he stopped paying his daughter’s tuition after she made a “disgusting” comment to his girlfriend. On a recent “Am I The A**hole” Reddit post, the dad wrote that his wife had passed away from a car accident a year ago and he started dating his new girlfriend in January.
He has two children, ages 25 and 19, who were aware of his new girlfriend, but when they first met, his daughter, A, was “very very standoffish.” He wrote that his girlfriend made several attempts to get along with A, but “all were rudely rejected.”
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Dad Threatens to Stop Paying Daughter’s Tuition After She Made a Rude Remark to His Girlfriend
When everyone gathered for Thanksgiving, A said to the girlfriend, “Don’t you think you’ve eaten enough, you fat pig?” Obviously, the girlfriend was very upset and the dad told A to “get out.”
Later that evening, the dad texted his daughter to tell her that unless she apologized to his girlfriend and she accepted the apology, he would stop paying her tuition.
His daughter did not apologize, so he canceled next semester’s tuition. “She called me crying and begging me to reconsider but I told her my mind was made up,” he concluded.
Many commenters noted that the daughter was most likely still grieving the loss of her mother. While that doesn’t excuse the behavior, it could at least explain it.
“Frankly, if you expect to bring a new woman into your life so soon after your wife’s passing and have it go totally hunky-dory with your daughters, you’re not thinking realistically and placing unfair expectations on your daughters,” one response reads.
“Though obviously speaking so rudely is over the line, your daughter actually has every right to be having a hard time with this,” it concludes.
Others noted that while the behavior was totally uncalled for and agreed that the daughter should apologize, they felt that punishment didn’t really fit the crime.
“[The daughter] is now in a position where she won’t be able to get a job and save enough to make it through school, thus condemning her to either drop out or take massive loans. Both options seriously negatively impact her future and likely would prevent her from maturing beyond the person she is now,” wrote another commenter.
Overall, it was deemed that “everyone sucks” in this case – the daughter for calling the girlfriend a name and not apologizing, and the dad for reacting so harshly and not recognizing that his daughter is most likely still in mourning.
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When I worked as a paralegal there was a case brought before the Court regarding child support. The father was paying child support for his kid but, when the mother refused visitation rights, he went to Court and presented his case. The Court ordered that either the mother agree to visitation rights of at least one weekend a month during which the father could take the child home with him for a full 72 hours or be exempt from child support. That worked for about 6 months, then the mother refused to abide by the Court order and refused visitation, so the father was legally exempt from paying child support. However, we did find out later that the father put the money for child support in an interest-bearing savings account. When the child reached age 18 the father used that money to send him to college.