60 Best Dog Jokes That Will Leave You Howling

Dog jokes poke fun at man’s best friend in the best way possible. These silly jokes are excellent for kids and are a great way to break the ice or get a quick laugh. Yes, nearly all of these jokes are wholesome and clean with many relying on puns and plays on words. That means these lighthearted jokes are easy to tell and enjoy and will have your friends and family howling with laughter.

We’ve rounded up all sorts of dog jokes about all sorts of dogs including pugs, terriers, labs, poodles, bloodhounds, and many more loveable dog breeds. Scroll through our favorite jokes about dogs below to find the best ones to share with someone who could use a laugh. Let’s get barking with laughter!

Cute Dog Jokes

• After accidentally swallowing Buzz Lightyear, what did the dog say to Woody? You got a friend in me.
• Which dog breed is Dracula’s favorite? Bloodhounds.
• What happens when a dog loses its tail? It must go to a retail store to find a new one.

Witty Dog Jokes

• When a dog has a fever, what should you feed him? Mustard. It’s the best thing for hot dogs.
• Why do dogs like conjunctions in English class? Because dogs like buts.
• What kind of dog consumes food with its ears? All of them. When was the last time you saw a dog remove its ears before eating?

Fun Dog Jokes

• Why do dogs love Redwood trees? They have the biggest bark.
• Why didn’t the dog want to play football? It was a boxer.
• What do you get when you cross a dog with a phone? A golden receiver.

Droll Dog Jokes

• What did the one dog say to the other before they enjoyed their dinner? Bon appetite!
• What was the little Scottish dog’s reaction when he first saw the Loch Ness Monster? He was Terrier-fied.
• Why did the two-legged dog come to an abrupt stop? It had two paws.

Great Dog Jokes for Kids

• What did the dog who sat on sandpaper say? Ruff! Ruff!
• Why are dogs terrible dancers? Because they have two left feet.
• What kinds of outdoor markets do dogs despise? Flea markets.

More Dog Jokes for Kids

• Why was the dog stealing shingles? He wanted to become a woofer!
• What breed of dog goes after anything that is red? Bulldogs.
• What do you call a dog magician? A labracadabrador.

Ridiculous Dog Jokes

• What do you get when you cross a dog and a ballpoint pen? Inkspots.
• Whenever I take my dog to the park, the ducks always try to bite him. I suppose it makes sense. He is pure bread.
• When you cross a dog with a cougar, what do you get? A lot of trouble with your postman.

Unbeatable Dog Jokes

• Where do dogs park their cars? In the barking lot.
• What do you call a dog that doesn’t have any legs? It doesn’t matter. It still won’t come no matter what you call it.
• What do a dog and a marine biologist have in common? One wags a tail and the other tags a whale.

Dumb Dog Jokes

• When you cross a frog with a dog, what do you get? A croaker spaniel.
• What happens if you connect a Corgi to a battery? A short circuit.
• Why do dogs like to bury their bones in the ground? Because they can’t be buried in trees.

Irreverant Dog Jokes

• What did one flea say to the other? Should we walk, or just take the dog?
• What do you get when you cross a dog and a lion? All we know is that you won’t be getting any mail.
• How are dog catchers in the UK paid? By the pound.

Far-Fetched Dog Jokes

• Why did the officer issue a ticket to the dog who gave birth on the side of the road? She was littering.
• Why did the woman make pancakes for her dog? The dog did not know how.
• What do you get when you cross an aggressive dog with a computer? A lot of bites.

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Dad Dog Jokes

• What do you get when you cross a cocker spaniel, a poodle, and a rooster? A cocker-poodle-doo!
• Why aren’t Corgi jokes funny? They’re all too short.
• What do dogs get after they graduate from obedience school? Their masters.

Cheerful Dog Jokes

• What is a pug’s favorite autumnal beverage? Pug-kin spice lattes.
• How do you get a dog in the back seat to quit barking while you’re driving? Put him in the front seat so he can bark there.
• Which dog breed loves living in the Big Apple? A New Yorkie.

Punny Dog Jokes

• What do dogs do when they need to take a bathroom break during a movie? Press the paws button.
• Where does a Labrador’s food go before it can be sold in stores? To the lab for testing.
• What do you call a dog that has been left outside in the cold? A chili dog.

Amusing Dog Jokes

• What did Darth Vader’s dog say to Luke’s dog? Join the bark side.
• What do you call a sleeping Rottweiler? Whatever you want as long as you do so quietly.
• What do chemists’ dogs do with their bones? They barium!

Laughable Dog Jokes

• What breed of dog can jump higher than a building? All breeds can because buildings can’t jump!
• What do you call a dog that can’t bark? A hushpuppy.
• Did you hear about the dog who couldn’t stop talking like a horse? It was a dog and pony show.

Waggish Dog Jokes

• How many hairs are in a dog’s tail? None. They are all on the outside.
• What do dogs like to eat at the movie theaters? Pupcorn.
• What do you get when you cross a dog and a calculator? A friend you can count on.

Hysterical Dog Jokes

• What could be more incredible than a talking dog? A spelling bee.
• Why did the Dachshund want to sit in the shade? Because he was a hot dog.
• What do you call a frozen dog? A pupsicle.

Bad Dog Jokes

• Why do dogs like to run in circles? Because it’s really hard to run in squares.
• When you cross a sheepdog with a rose, what do you get? A collie-flower.
• What do you call a large dog that meditates? Aware wolf.

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Our Favorite Dog Jokes

• What happened when the dog went to the flea circus? He stole the show.
• What did the man name his two watchdogs? Rolex and Timex.
• What do my dog and phone have in common? They both have collar ID