A woman writes in asking for advice about engagement ring etiquette. She wants to know, in the event of a split, who should get to keep the engagement ring. She says that she really wants to keep the ring, but that her former fiancé “has forcibly taken it.” She wants to know if there is anything she can do to reclaim the ring or if she should let it go.
A member of the community asks:
“If an engagement fails who gets the ring? I want to keep the ring but my ex has forcibly taken it. Is there anything I can do?”
Community Advice for This Woman Who Wants to Know if She Can Keep Her Engagement Ring Even Though Her Engagement Ended
To see what advice the Mamas Uncut Facebook community has for this woman in need, read the comments of the post embedded below.
Engagement Ring Etiquette Advice Summary
The community offered this woman in need a lot of great advice. Read some of their responses below.
“When he proposed, if you had said no, you would not have gotten the ring. Engagement rings are not ‘gifts.’ The whole idea of a ring proposal is conditional. The ring is a symbol of your commitment to one day be his wife. If the engagement ends, he deserves the ring back as you two are no longer following through with that commitment.”
“Rules of engagement: if you end it, he gets the ring, if he ends it you get the ring.”
“The law usually considers it a gift and you get to keep it, but, personally, I’d say give it back. Everything it stands for is over, why should you get to keep it?”
“Why would you want to keep it?”
“My mom’s opinion… It is yours to keep it was a gift, you don’t take back gifts. My opinion… You give it back because if you’re not marrying him, why would you keep his ring? He deserves to have it back because it was a proposal and if the proposal doesn’t go thru than it was originally his to keep.”
“I think it should be given back. Yes, it was a gift, but he was under the impression you were marrying him. Rings are not cheap and I think he deserves to get his investment back. Plus, why would you want a token and constant reminder of a failed engagement? Wait for the right man. Then you’ll get another ring that will symbolize what it’s supposed to.”
“My opinion might be unpopular. If he bought it, proposed with it, and the engagement failed it is his because the ring was given to you as a symbol/token that you would marry. If you don’t get married, it’s not yours.”
“GENERALLY the rule is that if she breaks it off, she gives it back and if he breaks it off then she would keep it (if she wanted). Unless it was a family heirloom of HIS, in which case it should absolutely be given back.”
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