31 Halloween Quotes That Aren’t Too Spooky

With Halloween right around the corner, we wanted to get in a spooktacular mood. There are many ways to go about it! You can carve pumpkins with your family, decorate your home and garden with creep decorations, watch horror movies, and for us, it’s to revisit some of our favorite scary books. Deep in a story, we can get lost in the horror and mystery, and uneasiness of it all. We pulled some of our favorite Halloween quotes from literature that are a bit chilling but not so much so that they would make your children fearful. Just enough spooky to get the job done!

From Mary Shelley to Ray Bradbury to William Shakespeare and more, we have found some thrilling Halloween quotes from some of the world’s most beloved and respected voices. Not all of them are from books, we even have one from George Carlin. So, if you’re looking for some quotes to share with your kids or to even caption a social media post with, you’ve come to the right place! Discover some very fun Halloween quotes below!

Ray Bradbury

“Anyone could see that the wind was a special wind this night, and the darkness took on a special feel because it was All Hallows’ Eve.”

William Shakespeare

“Double, double toil and trouble; Fire burn, and cauldron bubble.”

Shirley Jackson

 “Fear,’ the doctor said, ‘is the relinquishment of logic, the willing relinquishing of reasonable patterns. We yield to it or we fight it, but we cannot meet it halfway.’” 

Edgar Allan Poe

“Believe nothing you hear, and only one half that you see.” 

Arthur Conan Doyle

“Where there is no imagination there is no horror.” 

Karen Fortunati

“The world turned upside down—in a good way—for one black velvet night.”

Mason Cooley

“Clothes make a statement. Costumes tell a story.” 

Stephen King

“We make up horrors to help us cope with the real ones.”

Ray Bradbury

 “Everything seemed cut from soft black velvet or gold or orange velvet. Smoke panted up out of a thousand chimneys like the plumes of funeral parades. From kitchen windows drifted two pumpkin smells: gourds being cut, pies being baked.” 

Judy Gold

“Halloween is an opportunity to be really creative.”

Carolyn MacCullough

“I was born on the night of Samhain, when the barrier between the worlds is whisper-thin and when magic, old magic, sings its heady and sweet song to anyone who cares to hear it.” 

Bram Stoker

“Listen to them—the children of the night. What music they make!”

Rusty Fischer

“Sticky fingers, tired feet; one last house, trick or treat!” 

Unknown

“When the witches go riding, and black cats are seen, the moon laughs and whispers ’tis near Halloween.” 

Ava Dellaria

“On Halloween, you get to become anything that you want to be.” 

 L.M. Montgomery

“I’m so glad I live in a world where there are Octobers.”

Rusty Fischer

“Shadows mutter, mist replies; darkness purrs as midnight sighs.”

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George Carlin

“There are nights when the wolves are silent and only the moon howls.”

Robert Brault

“There is a child in every one of us who is still a trick-or-treater looking for a brightly-lit front porch.” 

Dexter Kozen

“Shadows of a thousand years rise again unseen. Voices whisper in the trees, ‘Tonight is Halloween!'” 

Edgar Allen Poe

 “Deep into the darkness peering, long I stood there, wondering, fearing/Doubting, dreaming dreams no mortal ever dared to dream before.” 

Steve Almond

“Nothing on Earth so beautiful as the final haul on Halloween night.”

Paula Guran

“The farther we’ve gotten from the magic and mystery of our past, the more we’ve come to need Halloween.”

Oscar Wilde

“A mask tells us more than a face.” 

Richelle E. Goodrich

“Werewolves howl. Phantoms prowl. Halloween’s upon us now.”

Nicholas Gordon

“Halloween wraps fear in innocence, as though it were a slightly sour sweet. Let terror, then, be turned into a treat… ”

Midgard Morningstar

“The moon has awoken with the sleep of the sun, the light has been broken; the spell has begun.” 

Douglas Copeland

“If human beings had genuine courage, they’d wear their costumes every day of the year, not just on Halloween.”

Unknown

“There is magic in the night when pumpkins glow by moonlight.”

Elvis Duran

“Halloween is not only about putting on a costume, but it’s about finding the imagination and costume within ourselves.”

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William Shakespeare

“By the pricking of my thumbs, something wicked this way comes.” 

Wow! Aren’t these Halloween quotes just stunning? We hope you enjoyed them and that you will share them with your friends and family. Halloween is such a remarkable time of the year and if you’re still in the mood for a little spookiness, keep reading. We’ve got some really fun Halloween jokes for kids to share with you!

Halloween Knock Knock Jokes for Kids

• Knock Knock? Who’s there? Witch! Witch who? Witch one of you has my candy?
• Knock Knock? Who’s there? Ivana! Ivana who? Ivana suck your blood!
• Knock Knock? Who’s there? Boo! Boo who? Don’t cry, it’s only Halloween.

More Knock Knock Halloween Jokes for Kids

• Knock Knock? Who’s there? Phillip! Phillip who? Phillip my bag with candy!
• Knock Knock? Who’s there? Orange! Orange who? Orange you glad it’s Halloween?
• Knock Knock? Who’s there? Ice cream! Ice Cream who? Ice cream every time I see a ghost!

Even More Knock Knock Jokes

• Knock Knock? Who’s there? Figs! Figs who? Figs your doorbell so I can stop knocking!
• Knock Knock? Who’s there? Eddie! Eddie who? Eddie body home? It’s Halloween!
• Knock Knock? Who’s there? Iguana. Iguana who? Iguana eat all your candy.

Super Punny Halloween Jokes for Kids

• What treat do eye doctors give out on Halloween? Candy corneas.
• Why does a witch ride a broomstick? So she can make a clean getaway.
• What does the vampire’s Valentine say? You’re just my blood type.

More Punny Halloween Jokes for Kids

• Why do ghosts make the best cheerleaders? They have a lot of spirit!
• What type of plants do well on all Hallow’s Eve? Bam-BOO!
• Who helps the little pumpkins cross the road safely? The crossing gourd.

Zombie Halloween Jokes for Kids

• What is a zombie sleepover called? Mass grave.
• How do you know if a zombie likes someone? They ask for seconds.
• What do you call a movie about zombies finding true love? A zom-com.

More Zombie Halloween Jokes for Kids

• Where do zombies live? On a dead-end street.
• What brand of shampoo do zombies use? Head and Shoulders.
• What’s a zombie’s favorite treat? You might guess brain food, but it’s actually eye candy.

Even More Zombie Jokes for Kids

• What do you call zombies in pajamas? The sleepwalking dead.
• What’s a zombie’s favorite weather? Cloudy, with a chance of brain.
• What kind of bread do zombies like? Whole brain.

These Zombie Jokes Just Won’t Die

• What do vegetarian zombies eat? Graaaains!
• What’s a zombie’s favorite cheese? Zom-brie.
• Why don’t zombies eat popcorn with their hands? They eat their hands separately.

Final Zombie Halloween Jokes for Kids

• What sea do zombies swim in? The dead sea.
• Why aren’t zombies ever arrested? They can’t be captured alive.
• Why did the zombie become a mortician? To put food on the table.

Pumpkin Halloween Jokes for Kids

• Why did he jack-o-lantern fail out of school? Someone scooped his brains out.
• Where does a pumpkin preach? From the pulp-it.
• What did the pumpkin say to its carver? Cut it out!

More Pumpkin Halloween Jokes for Kids

• What does a carved pumpkin celebrate? Hollow-een.
• Why was the gourd so gossipy? To give ’em pumpkin to talk about.
• What’s the best thing to put into a pumpkin pie? Your teeth.

More Pumpkin Goodness Coming At You

• Why was Cinderella bad at football? Because she had a pumpkin for a coach.
• What’s a pumpkin’s favorite genre? Pulp fiction.
• What do you get when you drop a pumpkin? Squash.

Witchy Halloween Jokes for Kids

• What’s the problem with twin witches? You never know which witch is which.
• What kind of medicine do witches use on their warts? I don’t know, but it’s not working.
• What do witches get when their shoes are too tight? Candy corns.

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More Halloween Jokes for Kids About Witches

• Why did the witch take a nap? She needed to rest a spell.
• What do you call two witches who live together? Broom-mates!
• What do you call a witch’s garage? A broom closet.

Final Witch Jokes

• What happened to the witch who flew her broom while angry? She flew off the handle.
• What’s a witch’s favorite makeup? Ma-scare-a.
• What do you call a witch with a rash? An itchy-witchy.

Skeleton Halloween Jokes for Kids

• What is a skeleton’s favorite instrument? A trom-bone.
• Why did the skeleton start a fight? Because he had a bone to pick.
• What’s a skeleton’s favorite song? “Bad to the Bone.”

More Skeleton Halloween Jokes for Kids

• Where does a skeleton go for a fun night? Anywhere, as long as it’s a hip joint.
• What do you call a skeleton who goes out in the snow? A numb-skull.
• What do skeletons order at a restaurant? Spare ribs.

Even More Skeleton Jokes for Kids

• Know why skeletons are so calm? Because nothing gets under their skin.
• Why do skeletons have low self-esteem? They have no body to love.
• Why didn’t the skeleton go to the scary movie? He didn’t have the guts.

Vampire Halloween Jokes for Kids

• Why are vampires bad at art? They are only able to draw blood.
• What’s a vampire’s favorite ice cream flavor? Vein-illa.
• What’s a vampire’s favorite fruit? Neck-tarines.

More Vampire Halloween Jokes for Kids

• What’s it called when a vampire has trouble with his house? A grave problem.
• How do vampires get around on Halloween? On blood vessels.
• Why did Dracula take cold medicine? Because he was coffin too much.

Mummy Halloween Jokes for Kids

• What do you call a mummy covered in chocolate and nuts? A Pharaoh Roche.
• Why couldn’t the mummy go to school with the witch? He couldn’t spell.
• Why don’t mummies have friends? Because they’re too wrapped up in themselves.

More Mummy Jokes for Kids

• Why don’t mummies take time off? They’re afraid to unwind.
• What kind of music do mummies like listening to on Halloween? Wrap music.
• What do you call Ryan Gosling in a mummy costume? Ryan Gauzeling

Ghost Halloween Jokes for Kids

• What does a ghost mom say when she gets in the car? Fasten your sheet-belts.
• How do you know when a ghost is sad? He starts boo hooing.
• Where does a ghost go on vacation? Mali-boo.

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More Ghost Halloween Jokes for Kids

• What is in a ghost’s nose? Boo-gers.
• Why did the ghost quit studying? Because he was too ghoul for school.
• What room does a ghost not need in a house? A living room.

Now, you know a ton of great Halloween jokes for kids! Share the joy and tell these jokes to as many kids as you can find. Halloween is such a fun holiday that often finds more laughs than screams! If you liked these Halloween jokes for kids, keep reading. We’ve got some fall jokes to share with you as well!